A Former Demon King's Blessing on This Wonderful World!
by Erithemaeus
Summary: The Former Demon King wants to retire. Chucking off his former duties is a lot harder however, since his past seems to be hounding him wherever he goes. At least he gets to see his daughter from time to time.
1. On Why the Former Demon King Visits

[Past, Demon King's Castle]

_"Y'know, for a Demon King, I didn't expect it to be so...underwhelming."_

_A teenage girl, smarter than most and wielding magics greater than any products of that embarrassing artificer, scratched her head in awkwardness._

_I wouldn't blame her. My position is a thankless job, but someone's got to do it. Just as my daughter needs to do her part as well._

_"Well, that's the part that I'm supposed to play. Sorry if you got dragged into all of this."_

_I shoot a grin in her direction, only for her to flush and stammer out a sentence. So cute. It would seem like all these years spent on paperwork didn't dull my ability to tease someone._

_"N-No, it's fine, but I just wonder if...you know, uh...you get bored around here."_

_"Oh yeah. I absolutely do. Nobody to talk to around here, you know? I'm thinking of getting some playmates to talk to at this rate."_

_"About that..."_

_"Hm?"_

_"...What if I took your place as the Demon King?"_

_If I didn't have enough self-control, I would've dropped my teacup onto the porcelain table._

_"Why?"_

_"...Because...you know...right?"_

_Ah, she started mumbling to herself._

_"Look, it's not like I'm trying to keep my position or anything. In fact, this just gives me some time for a vacation. I'm just trying to wrap my head around the fact that you would be willing to take up such a thankless job. Why?"_

_"IT SOUNDS COOL, ALRIGHT!?"_

_A smile forms on my face, the flush on her cheeks reminding me of a certain individual. Like my daughter. Definitely like my daughter._

_What I wouldn't give to erase that memory off my mind...it still gives me shudders up to this day._

_"There's going to be a lot of paperwork, you know?"_

_"...I still get the title though, right?"_

_"You do."_

_"Then I'll take it. Right now. We could even make up a contract."_

_I couldn't help but smile, even as I slowly move my seat away from her. Even though she's a good person and is willing to give me a much-needed break, I still wouldn't forget the fact that she's weird._

_"...Fine. But you only get the title once I fill up this castle with a few individuals, alright? I wouldn't want you to be lonely around here."_

_"Eh, sure."_

_And so, it became the day that the position of Demon King changed hands. Not by a bloody coup d' etat, but with a peaceful signing of a contract._

_"Oh, but I get to name myself as the Demon King's General, alright?"_

_...Well, my daughter _had _to get it from somewhere..._

[Present, Wiz's Shop – Axel]

"And so, that's why I'm here today." I sip my tea, even as two pairs of eyes stare at me like I was the greatest idiot in the entire world.

Though, Wiz sure had had improved on her tea brewing. Which was weird, given that she's a Lich.

"You didn't even give the reason as to why you're currently here, Bree-san."

"Indeed. The woman who's books are still in the red even with moi help speaks the truth. In fact, if this handsome devil's memory is by any indication, it is the same spiel that you gave me when you recruited me to serve under that young girl who's personality seems more like a Crimson Demon than a normal human being."

Mm. Vanir I could get, but since when did Wiz not mince words, eh? That's just sad.

"Fine. I came here to see my daughter."

The air around the shop seemed to stop, even as Vanir fired a Death Beam at me. Said beam was summarily directed towards Wiz, who let out a sharp bark of pain as the beam connected with her.

"B-Bree-san, can I please ask you to stop doing that? Vanir's been doing that to me at least once a day since he always checks the books just before the shop closes..."

Mm. That's definitely your fault, though.

"Former Demon King, are you perchance talking about _that _particularly distasteful individual?"

"Oi. No matter how many true things you say about her, she's still my daughter."

"She's a goddess, you understand."

"Yes."

"And you _are _the current Demon King, since the rest of the world haven't seen the new Demon King take to the front lines as of the moment, yes?"

"Yup."

"...Do you realize how idiotic you are currently acting as of the moment? Even the young man who only visits the shop due to his libido has greater common sense than you."

I perk up and turn towards the front door, even as the wood slams open to reveal a young mam with hazel hair and eyes in an adventurer's outfit. Given by Vanir's joyful expression, it would seem that said young man was embarrassed that he had been found out.

...I'm not even touching on what that archdevil meant by libido. He's a teenager. I can understand.

"I don't just visit here just because of Wiz, you hear?!"

"A-Ah, Kazuma-san, even though I am flattered by your opinion of me, I need to refuse your confession..."

I sigh, even as I take another sip of my tea.

"Wiz, I can assure you that if you don't accept this young man's feelings, you will surely turn out to be an old ha–"

"[Cursed Crystal Prison]!"

Ah, as per usual, she's as easy to tease as before. I think that I'm going to feel a little cold for a while, though. The ice covering me up to my chin is making me shiver a bit.

"Former Demon King, I must once again praise you for the effortless way that you are able to extract negative emotions from the people around you! It would seem like I still have much to learn from you!"

I blink, before turning towards the archduke of hell with the flattest look that I could muster. He seemed to realize his mistake, but I already turned my gaze towards the young man by the doorway.

Luckily, Wiz's [Cursed Crystal Prison] held the young man's foot in place. That's still an absurdly high Luck rating, though, since I'm sure the range of the spell would've at least frozen the young man up until his waist.

I turn towards the young man with a smile on my face.

"Well...Kazuma-san, was it? My name is Bree. As Vanir can attest to, I'm the former Demon King."

In response, the young man seemed to faint. Understandable reaction, really.

Still, I couldn't help but giggle at his current situation.


	2. On the Former Demon King's Daughter

[Wiz's Shop – Axel]

"AAARGH!"

Now, that's a peculiar reaction if I ever see one. Wiz immediately tended towards the newly-awakened young man by the back of the shop, while Vanir checked the stocks to see if the 'woman who is easily duped with particularly charismatic salesmen' had bought anything that they couldn't sell.

Judging by the large pile that wasn't repackaged, I couldn't help but feel sorry for the archdevil.

Anyway, as for what I am currently doing...

"Was that a scream?"

"Yes", I replied with a smile, "It would seem like the shopkeeper's apprentice is currently practicing, so pay no mind to it."

The customer seemed to blanch, but the expression quickly came and went as a lecherous grin formed on the man's face. I was sorely tempted to hit him with my staff and send him off to my daughter, but I know that she needed to relax at this time.

"So, you work here often or you just work part-time?"

"Vanir!"

Curse my androgynous appearance. Luckily, I have have a trap card, and it seemed like the adventurer knew it as well. Vanir seemed to appear around the corner, and he shot me a puzzled look.

"Uh, see you later, yeah?"

I didn't even bother responding to him as I jerk my thumb on the last customer's direction. "Does that always happen?"

"Yes. That particular adventurer doesn't buy any products at all, either out of pity or lust. I would like to express my thanks for getting rid of that gnat."

I smile and waved Vanir off, letting out a chuckle as the back door opened and Wiz escorted the impromptu guest back into the store.

"Yo."

"AAARGH!"

In hindsight, it was a bad way to start a conversation. "Would you cut it already? I'm trying to cover for Wiz's shift here, and you screaming isn't going to help."

"B-B-B-But–"

"I'm the former Demon King. That means you don't get any money by capturing me."

At that, the young man's eyes seemed to sharpen in an instant.

"Oh. That's good, then."

Because you don't want to die trying to capture me, right?

Well, disregarding worldly desires, the young man seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. If it was possible...

"Sadly, you won't be able to recruit this young man to be a General for the Demon King Army." Vanir came out the aisles while carrying a box of magical items that actually worked. "He is far too focused on worldly desires and in trying to make his harem into reality in order to commit his time into a cool-sounding position."

"Oi, I can't help but hear you badmouth me and my goals."

"Ho...? A harem, you say?" I ask towards the young man with a raised brow. My steps were calm and measured, even as I placed a hand on the young man's shoulder with a shaky grip.

One didn't even need to look hard enough to find that I had tears in my eyes.

"...Please teach me your ways, o man of good taste."

[Axel's Streets]

Uwaaa...

I thought I was going to die, but it turns out that the former Demon King was just asking me to teach him on how to form a harem.

Should I feel smug about this...? No. No I shouldn't.

Besides, I didn't even have a harem...! I think. If Vanir was telling the truth, and coupled with the various interactions with both Megumin and Darkness recently...

...Mm. It could very well be possible.

"Oh? Well this is quite a surprise. The Axis Cult is also participating in the Eris Festival?"

The former Demon King's voice brings me out of my thoughts, and I turn towards him to see his eye glancing towards Aqua's stall.

With a smile, no less. Plus, I could see something in his hand forming...!

"Eh..." What was his name again...? "Bree-san, right? Do you have any problems with the Axis Cult?"

At that, the former Demon King's magic seemed to disappear, replaced with a smile as he turned towards me.

"You know what they are, right?"

"...Yes. I've got an Axis cult archpriest in my party."

"I sympathize with you." The former Demon King said, patting me on the shoulder as he gave me a smile. "In any case, you should know by now that they're all just ungrateful sacks of meat that are as dumb as rocks and are willing to swindle you out of your money in as many ways as possible."

...As much as I didn't want to agree with the former Demon King, that just sums up Aqua's personality perfectly.

It also means that I need to get him out of here before he does something stupid as well.

"Uh, how about we go search for your daughter first? You can come back to the Axis Cult's shop later and do what you want."

"That's good enough for me."

Somehow, that line was enough to ring alarm bells in my head.

Not that I particularly wanted to stop him, though.

In any case, both of us continued on walking through the streets, making our way to the Guild. Meanwhile, he questioned me about harems.

Everything about them, in fact.

"What do you need to have a harem in the first place?"

"Uh...be a bumbling, socially-awkward guy with a heart of gold? Or be a bad boy with a heart of gold, I guess."

Was it weird that I lecturing the former Demon King on how to form harems?

"Hm, I see...but what should be in common with the girls that are attracted to a harem in order for them to stay?"

"Determination...I guess. It wouldn't matter if the other girls also like the same guy if they're willing to do everything to snag him."

"Right..."

I turn towards the former Demon King, seeing him staring at the sky with a wistful smile on his face.

"Anyway, why are you asking me about this? To be frank, you seem to be one of those harem-gathering types."

Not that I can curse him or anything. He might actually reflect it back towards me, and then I _won't _get a harem.

"I had a wife, you know."

Alright, I take it back. I'm not sure if I should curse him right now or later.

"Most beautiful woman in the world. We had a great daughter as well, but my wife was headstrong. Wouldn't allow me to take care of my daughter since I was still the Demon King back then. I couldn't actually see her until I gave away the position, but the time that I did that..."

Ah. I think I can understand, even if I don't know what it feels like to be married and be a father as well.

"So I tried searching for her, you know? Looked up far and wide when I only had a picture of her." At that, he showed me a faded picture from his pocket, and I was treated to a very familiar face.

Wasn't this Chris?

"Anyway, when I heard rumors that she's currently in Axel, I made haste. I'm pretty sure that I can find her right now."

Yeah, but wait. Isn't Chris just Eris-sama's disguise down here? If that's the case, then...

...What.

"Kazuma-san, we're here." The former Demon King said, opening the door to the Guild as he immediately saw a certain silver-haired thief leafing through the quests.

...But no way, right? Because I'm pretty sure that Eris-sama is a pure goddess, right?

"My daughter!"

The rest of the Guild turned towards the former Demon King, while I hid my face behind my hands. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Chris gaping like a fish, before she quickly tried to hide.

"[Lurk]."

"[Aura Vision, [Illusory Bind]."

"Damn it!"

"Do you seriously think that you can hide from me, o dear daughter of mine!?"

I couldn't help but weep.

It would indeed seem like Eris-sama has a former Demon King to be her father.


	3. On the Former Demon King's Background

[Adventurer's Guild – Axel]

"Really now, did you seriously expect that you can get away from me like that?"

Judging by the embarrassed flush on her cheeks, my daughter probably just realized what it meant.

"...No."

"Is that Chris' father?"

"More like her mother, actually."

"Do you know if they're a boy or a girl?"

I let it go. Getting angry at the whispers isn't going to help, especially since my daughter is just standing there, frozen in place.

Safety precautions, of course. If her first reaction was to use [Lurk, then it meant that she expected to play the part of an amazing parent.

Pffft. Just who did my daughter think I was?

"Your mother's also arriving by the day of the festival, so keep an eye out for her, will you?"

"[Counterspell]!"

"[Counterspell, [Illusory Bind]."

Once again, I couldn't help but let out a sigh. "Eris, you know that running away from this is just delaying the problem."

"Do you really have to use my name in front of Kazuma-san, though...?"

"Ho...?" I turn towards my side, finding the young man that I came with trying to escape using [Lurk]. A quick [Illusory Bind] froze him in place.

"I'm innocent, believe me!"

Was that a reference? "What's your relation to my cute and adorable little girl?"

"Daaad..."

I turn towards my daughter, finding her giving me a blank stare. It was weird, being on the opposite side of _the _stare, but it made me cave _just a little bit _and avoided killing the young man on the spot.

"Guess I'll have to ask you, then."

"He's an assistant! You know, from my _other_ line of work..."

"Oh." I turn my gaze towards the young man, giving him a thin smile as I pulled him back using [Telekinesis]. "Sorry about that. I thought you were in an illegal relationship with my cute and adorable little daughter or something. I'm sure she'd introduce any potential suitors to me first, right?"

"..."

"Right."

"Gladly!"

"Mm, see?" I turn back towards the young man with a smile on my face, noting that his skin was paler than usual.

"Anyways, Kazuma-san right?" At the young man's nod, I continued, "If you know about my daughter's other line of work, then you know who she is, yes?"

"Y-Yes!"

Really, I'm not that intimidating.

"I've been trying to convince her to get another line of work, really, but I know that she's just not going to like it. So, I let her be, and what do I get? Bam! 'The Chivalrous Thief Strikes Again' on the newspapers by the capital."

"Ugh..."

"Dear, stop slamming your head on the table. You're going to look insane to other people."

"You don't say..."

I ignore my daughter's crass remarks. "In any case, thank you for taking care of her. With the amount of luck that she has, who knows what kind of situation she gets herself in."

"It would be my pleasure!"

My eyes twinkled as I gave him a smile. "It better not be. Think of it as more of an obligation of sorts. I'll send some eris your way every week."

"Y-Yes!"

"Dad!" I turn towards my daughter, her cheeks flushed in embarrassment as I couldn't help but giggle at how cute she looked. "I can take care of myself, thank you very much! I don't need someone to babysit me!"

"Oh, I see. And Vanir's report is nothing but conjecture, then?"

"...You're associating yourself with devils?"

"Please remember that I'm the former Demon King, dear, and tell me that I wouldn't get along with my former colleagues."

"Everyone gets along with you."

"Indeed." I cross my arms and nod to emphasize my daughter's point, before turning towards the young man. "Kazuma-san, I'm counting on you. If my intelligence is correct, then there is an armor-type relic frolicking around here somewhere. I recommend you check out the mansions of the nobles first."

"A-Ah...yes sir."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'll take my leave", I replied with a smile, rising up from my seat and leaving the two to discuss amongst themselves.

I trust my daughter to herself. I really do. She just has the tendency to rush into things like her mother, so I needed a few insurance options. Like this one for example.

"A-Ah, to think that the Artificer himself is going to be the Guildmaster of Axel's branch..."

And my former colleagues say that I'm as slippery as a snake.

Pfft. Now they're just trying to slander my good name.

[Axel's Streets]

"There's something that I don't really get."

"What is it, Assistant-kun?"

Urk. Now that I think about it, that look in Chris' eyes is the same as her father.

"You're an honest-to-goodness goddess, right?"

"Ah, that." Chris laughed, all the while kicking a can on the side of the road. Given that it punched a hole in a tree, I could only gulp and fall silent.

"Well, isn't it obvious if you think about it? I'm a goddess, not some demigod."

I blinked. "So...does that mean that you're dad is a god himself?"

"Duh."

"Why become the Demon King, though?"

It really isn't something that I can just understand. Given from what I saw earlier, Chris' dad is actually a pretty decent guy, save for the overprotectiveness. Which would actually make sense – if I had a daughter like Eris-sama, I'd do anything to keep her safe as well.

Judging by the frown on Chris' face however, it seemed that she also didn't think of it up until now.

"My mother probably knows the reason why. Dad doesn't really like to talk about it, and I could understand where he's coming from, but I...I just want to know? I mean, it was pretty embarrassing to know that I had a dad when I asked my mother a while back. She seemed fine with it as well, which was pretty weird, so I tried to snoop around."

"And...?"

"I don't know!" That's pretty weird, Chris throwing a fit like that. "I don't know what's going on in his head! I mean, he's an amazing guy and I'm proud to be his daughter, but he's an enigma! I just...I just want to understand why, you know? Leaving my mother and I behind to lead the Demon King's Army..."

Chris fell silent, and I couldn't help but think about the former Demon King as well. To be honest, the man was one of – if not _the _– most decent people that I have ever met.

Of course, it all went away since he's a daughter-con, but seeing that his daughter is Eris-sama out of all people, then it's pretty understandable.

"Maybe just ask him later, I guess." I replied with a shrug. "He's not going anywhere for the time being, right?"

"...I guess." Chris nodded, before stopping in her tracks as we finally arrived at the noble's mansion, putting on her handkerchief as I put on the Vanir-styled mask.

"Well Assistant-kun...after this, would you be willing to help me talk to my dad?"

At this rate, I'm going to see if I can get some money out of this.


	4. On the Former Demon King's Wife

[Adventurer's Guild – Axel]

Paperwork. The bane of my existence. Whether or not I was a Demon King, somehow someone always manages to slip in paperwork. I'd like to talk to the person who thought that it was a great idea to make paperwork a staple in everyday living.

"Guildmaster? There's a person that wants to see you." I blink, glancing towards the magical clock on the wall as I let out a soft sigh. It would seem like I've been working for a long while.

"Tell them I'm coming." I replied back, already rising up from my seat as I got out of my office and into the actual confines of the Guild itself.

By the entrance I saw the most beautiful person in my life, currently trying to comfort my daughter who was currently bawling into her arms. Silver hair was tied in an intricate braid, with soft blue eyes staring past our daughter and meeting my gaze. Her black robes seemed as regal as ever, but I could still see the hint of silver that belied the presence of armor. By her waist I saw a sheathed sword, one that doubled as her staff as well, and I couldn't help but let out a smile at the fact that she kept my gift.

"Bree."

"Esta."

She broke free from our daughter's waist and immediately took me in a tight hug, and I let out a soft sigh as I leaned into her embrace. "How long had it been?"

"Quite a long time, if I do say so myself. You wouldn't believe just how much our daughter bugged me about you."

I glanced behind me, seeing Eris stare at the scene while biting her lip, and I couldn't help but laugh as I beckoned her into the hug with [Telekinesis].

...Really, it's been a long time.

[Axel's Streets]

"So, how'd the retrieval go this time?"

Judging by my daughter's sullen face, it seemed that it didn't go too well. I could already see Esta trying to comfort our daughter, but I pressed a finger to my lips and glanced towards Eris.

My wife seemed to get the message.

"What happened, then?"

"That armor wanted to protect an innocent damsel in distress..."

Mm. It would seem like we would need to file for a relic disposal form soon.

"W-Wait! Mother, dad, the armor didn't actually do anything to me...!"

"Of course, dear." My wife soothed our daughter, but the steely gaze that she sent me was enough to let me know her opinion on the matter.

I seconded, of course. One doesn't just lay their hands on our precious daughter without being disintegrated to pieces.

"Everything's alright, my daughter." I smiled as well, "I'll just post a quest. It won't take long, I tell you."

"Ugh..."

Really, now. Don't act like you've been scorned, Eris. We're just making sure that armor wouldn't be a problem any longer.

Speaking of potential problems... "Eris, how is your assistant?"

"An assistant, you say?"

I nod in response to my wife's words. "That's what she told me. He assists her in retrieving relics."

"...A 'He', you say?"

"Mother!"

Eris' voice brings my wife out of her positively murderous thoughts as she glances towards her daughter with a serene smile.

"Yes, dear?"

"Please don't kill Kazuma-san. I still need him for this."

Mm. It would seem like she only incited her mother's bloodlust even further. That's not good.

"What our daughter means is that her assistant serves an invaluable role in capturing the wayward relic. She is not implying that her 'needs' are of..._that _kind."

"Ah, I see. My apologies then, my dear daughter. It would seem like I assumed that your relationship with this...'assistant' of yours is anything but professional."

"...Thanks, dad."

"I would still like to request a meeting with him, however."

"Mother!?"

A smile formed on my face as my wife met gazes with me. Like I'd dare go against her at a time like this.

"Dear, I know your father very–"

Esta, stop blushing. You're planting some ideas into our daughter's head. See? Eris is already flushing as well.

"..._Intimately. _And it means that I know of his standards. It is regrettable that for all of his intelligence and charisma that his standards when it comes to surveying suitors is especially lacking."

"Hey..."

My protest was ignored. I didn't hear my daughter snickering.

"As such, it would fall unto my domain to see if this 'assistant' of yours is worthy enough for you."

"I'm not interested in him, Mother! Nor is he interested in me!"

My wife scoffed. "Nonsense. I trust Bree to tell me the truth that you are attracted to that 'assistant' of yours."

"Dad..."

"It was a test, o daughter of mine." I replied with a smile on my face, even as Eris started to pale. "...Sadly, that reaction of yours meant that you failed."

"N-No, seriously. I don't like him. He's already got three beautiful women in his party, and he's an incessant pervert that won't stop until..."

She stopped as I placed a hand on her shoulder, shooting her a sympathetic smile. "It's alright. I fell in love with your mother for the very same reasons."

"That is information that I _didn't _want to hear. _Ever_."

"Well, now you know. And my work here is done."

My daughter blinked. "What do you...Oh."

Indeed. My wife had left, presumably to find and 'talk' to my daughter's assistant.

"You were the distraction."

"I am."

"Mother is...Mother would be..."

"Yup."

"Dad, what were you thinking!?"

I wince and stepped away from my daughter, trying to clean out my ears as I kept one eye trained on Eris, who seemed content to give me the stink eye instead of running off to find her mother before she kills her assistant.

"Eris–"

"_Chris._"

"Fine. Chris, you must understand that this is the first time in years that your mother is here."

"And...?"

"So this is the first in a long time that I'm allowed to spend time with her."

My daughter seemed to get what I was talking about, since her face looked like she was disgusted and stepped away from me in an instant.

"I didn't need to know that."

"You'll understand when you're older."

"Even then, I don't think that I want to."


	5. On Quests With the Former Demon King

[Adventurer's Guild – Axel]

"Guildmaster, good morning!"

I yawned, replying with a smile and wave as I made my way towards my office. Even now I can still see the paperwork that I have to do at the back of my head, and I couldn't help but shiver.

I'm probably going to have to talk to the police department later and replace their magic item that they used for interrogations...

"Say, did my wife go here a while back?"

One of the receptionist blinks, before recognition crosses her eyes at the same time as she pales.

"She did. With Kazuma-san..."

"I'm too hopeless for her to cheat on me, don't worry." I reply back with a smirk, even as I make my way towards the office and hear the sound of rattling chains.

That was the main draw, since Esta wasn't the type to be or use chains. I would know...

Anyway, I swing the door open, and Kazuma turns to stare at me as if I was his savior. Meanwhile, my wife stares at me with frustration in her eyes, and I can't help but send a wry smile in her direction.

"Got what you wanted?"

"Sadly", she replies with a sigh, casually nudging the magic item that rings when someone lies off my table, shattering the thing as my smile turns brittle. "I assume that you are checking in for the day?"

"Yup. I've got a few things to check out, so I need this young man to leave immediately." I said, patting Kazuma's shoulders with a smile.

Of course, I muttered something about a durian quest that needed to be done before noon, to which Kazuma immediately nodded in assent. Smart man.

"[Sacred Break Spell]."

In an instant, the chains around Kazuma break, and he immediately tackles me in a hug.

"Thank you for saving my life!"

"Stop hugging me, kid. My wife's getting jealous."

"I wasn't."

You totally are, though.

Still, it was pretty amusing to see my daughter's assistant rush out of the office like he was running for his life, and I couldn't help but lock the door closed as I gave my wife a wink.

"Got everything you wanted out of him?"

"I did."

"That's nice." I said, casting a [Muffle] as I grin at my wife. "So, ready to break the place in?"

"What do you...oh."

Yeah, it was worth getting that blush out of her face, even if it was going to be my downfall a little bit later.

"Are you sure that this is the safest place to do it?"

"Unless you want to do it while we're mapping out the ruins of Verdia's castle..."

"Here, then." She took a deep breath, shivering for a moment or two before a lecherous smile forms on her face. "So...now?"

I shrug.

I found myself pinned against the desk a second later.

[Inside the Remains of Veldia's Castle – Outskirts of Axel]

"[Holy Enchantment, [Light of Saber]!"

A luminous beam of holy light stretches through the hallway, disposing most of the undead as their souls were finally able to get back into the reincarnation circle. Multi-classing was usually considered a bad idea, but the amount of flexibility that one could get by doing so is more worth it than just specializing in one class.

Take me for example. Archpriest, Archwizard, and Thief. Given my levels, it means that I can control the battlefield as long as I stay in a relatively safe spot.

Not that I can't hold my own in melee, but I'd like to get some insurance, just in case. Main reason why I brought my wife with me, really.

"[Holy Protection, [Sword Beam]!"

With Crusader and Swordmaster as Esta's classes, it's safe to say that no one could beat her in a straight fight. Plus, given the amount of holy abilities that she gets as a Crusader, it also means that she dispatches undead like flies.

Plus, she attracts attention like no one else. All the monsters immediately focus on her, which gives me time to make a plan.

Ah, I remember the times that we spent in the front lines...

"I'm done with mine." Esta says, sheathing her sword and turning towards me with a smile. If someone tells her that she looks like someone who recently bedded someone...

...That's because she did. "Ah, shall we go, then?"

My wife nods, skipping ahead of me with a spring in her step as I chuckle and follow behind. Sure, she hasn't been here for a few years, but that kind of reaction is too much, isn't it?

Or maybe the stress just got to her?

...Yeah, that works. Heaven's paperwork is just _that _bad.

In any case, I unfurl the map that I've been working on for a while, showing a comprehensive layout of the castle that was one Verdia's home. A pen appears in my hands as I glance around me, before I started to sketch.

"Say, this isn't just for your hobby isn't it?"

I chuckled. My wife is too smart for my own good. "Got me right on that one. You know how much priests are always a few levels lower than their other party members, right?"

"Oh." Esta turns towards me with a smile, having known where I was coming from. "That's...actually nice of you. You're not going to use your influence as the Guildmaster to force them to bus their priests, are you?"

"..."

"Bree."

"Say...that's a good idea, isn't it?"

"Bree!"

"You've seen the incidents that's been happening around Axel lately. Don't tell me that you're not the slightest bit worried."

"I am, but–"

"Our cute and adorable daughter has friends here, you know?"

"Do whatever it takes to level up those priests."

"Yes ma'am." I reply with a mock salute, causing Esta to nudge my shoulder as I chuckle and take a right.

"Bree...oh."

Yeah, oh.

"Seems like my old colleague's throne room, don't you think?" I ask, even though I already know my wife's reply judging by the fact that she kicked the door open.

In response, the door fell off its hinges, slamming down onto the room behind it as a cloud of dust obscured our vision on what lay behind the door.

When the dust settled however, I couldn't help but groan at the figure currently sitting on the throne.

"You know", I say, "It's a good thing that I didn't make this a quest for the adventurers in Axel."

Esta snorts, drawing her sword just as demonic red eyes opened on the figure sitting on the throne. "Of _course _it had to be one of these things. Did you cast a [Blessing] today?"

"Just before I entered the Guild. I was hoping that you didn't kill our daughter's assistant, so I needed a little help on the side."

"...Bree."

"Yes, my dear?"

"Don't 'my dear' me just to get out of the punishment." My wife grumbles, turning back to face the figure on the throne with red ears.

"...When we get back, we're going to break that desk in your office."

"While anyone else would normally see it as a reward, I have important paperwork on that desk that can't just be shucked off!"

"Just shut up and help me deal with this thing!"

The Demonic Cabbage flapped its pitch-black body, a shrill sound erupting from its body as the rest of its offspring started to burst in through the windows leading towards the throne room.

Now, while I like the current Demon King despite all her faults, _this _was just one of the few things that I genuinely hate about her.

Ordinary cabbages in this world kill more people yearly than the damn Demon King Army _by accident_. Why did she have to tweak them to murder _anything _around them!?


	6. On the Guildmaster's Proclamation

[Adventurer's Guild – Axel]

...Huh? The receptionists seem like they don't know what to do.

Well, the Guild is shaking more than usual... "Kazuma, did you do something again?"

"Am I the first person you always turn to when the Guild calls on everyone else?"

That Megumin...if I were to be honest, I would like to thank the Guildmaster for giving me that durian quest as a favor to let me go from his wife's questioning. It meant that Megumin couldn't blue balls me yesterday night, since I was busy sorting cabbages at a nearby village.

Ha! Suck on that, you blue-balling loli! How'd it feel like to be the receiving end of a cuckold, for once?!

"Kazuma, I don't like that look in your eyes..."

I sighed. Trust Darkness to be blind to her faults as usual.

Anyway, I stepped up to the receptionist. It would seem like every adventurer in the city is staring at me to do it.

...I'm not that shameless, am I? "Luna-san, why'd the Guildmaster call us here? And what's with all the shaking?"

"Ah, it's because the Guildmaster is supposed to announce an important thing, but as for the shaking...I don't know. It's been here since the Guild staff came here..."

"Thanks, Luna-san."

Well, it seems that the Former Demon King had something to announce to us, apparently. But it seems like they don't know much about the shaking...

...Huh? Chris is looking down and muttering something. Come to think of it, her clothes even changed!

It must have something to do with her mother. Judging by the 'talk' that we had yesterday, she told me that she got Chris something that didn't expose as much skin...

...Nice, Eris-sama's mother–!

–Wait! I was trying to figure out what Chris was saying! It's times like this that I'm glad that I have the [Lip-Reading] skill...

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry about my mother. She hasn't been here in more than a few years, so the stress in heaven probably built up inside of her. I'm sorry about my father. He always liked to spoil me and my mother anyway, so I have a feeling that they're responsible for all of this shaking. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my parents..."

As much as I would like to send a copyright complaint for stealing my lines, at least I now know the reason as to why the Guild is shaking.

...It stopped. I don't know what it's supposed to mean, but count me as scared out of my wits.

The door to the Guildmaster's office slammed open. We're all going to die.

"Demonic Cabbage captured~!"

And the Guildmaster came out saying those things.

Wait. 'Demonic Cabbage'?

"Isn't that supposed to be an S-rank monster?"

"How did the Guildmaster capture it?"

"As expected of 'The Artificer'! Even his inventions could trap a Demonic Cabbage!"

...Now that I look at the Demonic Cabbage, it looks like an ordinary cabbage save for the black leaves and red eyes.

Isn't this just a recolored enemy? It seems to like to thrash around its cage, though...

"Kazuma, Kazuma."

"Yes, Kazuma here."

"You might not know about this, but Demonic Cabbages are the Demon King's go-to elite shock troopers. Instead of trying to escape from being cooked and eaten, Demonic Cabbages seek to murder anyone in the vicinity who isn't a Demonic Cabbage. They have a large resistance to magic, so blasting them out of the sky is impossible unless someone uses [Explosion] or [Niflheim] magic on it."

...Why is a damn reskin of a mob so powerful, huh!? That's just plain broken! The Demon King army could just release those damn things onto the frontline and conquer Belzerg in just a day! Why didn't the...

Oh, right.

The Former Demon King is standing right in front of us, being praised by this town's adventurers.

...This is my life now, isn't it?

[Adventurer's Guild – Axel]

"Now, now, simmer down the lot of you", I say, watching as the crowd of adventurers settle down before I continued.

The damn Demonic Cabbage was trying to chew through the cage that I made for it, but it's sadly out of luck.

"Anyways, I came here to say an important announcement..."

Silence.

"...That tomorrow, all of you would be banned from tomorrow onwards."

Luckily I was wearing earplugs, so the sudden influx of sound didn't affect me too much.

The adventurers were about to riot however, so that won't do.

"[Silence, [Illusory Bind]."

And silence came upon the entire Guild. This is going to be one of the times that I'm going to milk this moment.

So, I removed my earplugs and started addressing the crowd. "Now now, there are two ways to get rid of the ban for your party. The first is to accomplish a durian quest. Depending on the difficulty, you can visit the Guild up to a month before you're banned again."

Of course, considering that the most difficult quest involved a griffon and a manticore, they weren't going to risk their lives for that.

"Now, the other way – and the only way to permanently get rid of the ban – is to level up the priest in your party to level thirty."

There were a few dissidents around the crowd, so I continued on talking. "Remember that castle on the outskirts of the city? The one that the crazy explosion girl always tries to blow up for some inane reason? Yeah, that place is full of undead. Great place to level up your priest, if I ever saw one...at least, near Axel, of course."

"Now, I have an incentive." I raised the cage containing the Demonic Cabbage, the thing snarling at everything around it and promising a world of pain.

"The first ten parties to level up their priests get a meal out of this Demonic Cabbage." Ears perked up at that, and I couldn't help but let out a smirk.

"...For anyone who isn't brain-dead, that's a guaranteed twenty levels if only one person eats it."

Silence. Although, all of them were currently buzzing in their places.

"Oh, and for those who have no priests in their party, then get one. The ban won't lift itself, right?"

I replace my earplugs before I let go of my [Silence] and [Illusory Bind] spells. A roar shook through the entire Guild, and the door slammed open as every single adventurer marched out of the Guild immediately.

The only one who remained was my daughter. "Good luck finding a party."

I could immediately tell that she sprinted off towards her assistant.


	7. On Start of the Guildmaster's Pageant

[Adventurer's Guild – Axel]

The Guild is quiet today.

Which also means that I can finally do my paperwork with ease.

"Moi doesn't know what's more unsettling, the fact that you are currently doing paperwork with a smile on your face, or the fact that you seen committed to doing paperwork in the first place."

"Do you really have to word it like that?" I replied with a frown, pointing my pen towards the masked man in front of me before signing off another form for rerouting Guild funds.

Truly, I am killing two birds with one stone with this deal. Someone should praise me for this.

"Indeed. As much as I hate to say praise to one of moi greatest enemies, this Archduke of Hell commends thou for committing such a dastardly plan in the first place. But moi has to ask, did you consult thy annoying wife about this?"

"You get to annoy her if she ever visits the castle."

"Muahahahahaha! Indeed, I can! Moi can attest that you seem to be more devil than god!" Vanir cackled with glee, posing with his mask even as I signed off a contract for structural repairs. "Thou hast allowed moi to have moi own dungeon, all the while thy wife has an outlet for her bloodlust! Truly, the mark of a Demon King."

I frowned. "You and I both know that I'm not that kind of person any longer."

"Indeed. Moi self was there as a witness for the contract to hand over the ownership of the title of 'Demon King' to that bratty woman with a penchant for the grandeur. However, after such a long time since you have been cast out from the depths of thy kin, did thou expect to remain the same?"

My pen pauses over the form listing Wiz as the proprietor of the Guild branch in front of the castle. A bitter smile forms on my face a moment later.

"...You might be right. To be honest, I don't know as to why my wife still loves me. She knows that I don't have a chance for redemption. She knows what I did, after all."

"Thou had proven thyself in the arts of the bedchamber."

"Any god related to love can do that", I barked back, signing another form for the third party's shares that would come from the maintenance of the castle dungeon. Said third party was most definitely not Vanir.

"Then this Archduke of Hell believes that you had showed her something that no god had ever seen before."

"...You know–"

"Moi was not referring to thy phenomenal girth, of course." I groaned, even as Vanir laughed once more. "Yes, moi is of course talking about the negative emotions coming off thou! One must truly wonder as to why a devil like moi self can feed on thy negative emotions."

Oh, that. "Did thou discover the art of apotheosis?"

I chuckled. "That's too refined a term."

My hand raised to show a figure that even Vanir couldn't recognize, even with his age, knowledge, and power.

"...Call it someone bugging a bigger fish long enough for them to just give in and get what you want."

[Streets of Axel]

"I can't believe that you even had some time to spare for this." Esta said, plopping down beside me as she let out a tired sigh. "...On that end, the same applies to me as well."

"Let's just say that I managed to get an old friend over to watch the Guild." When my wife frowned, I grabbed her hand and sent her a smile. "It's exactly as to who you think it is. Don't worry, he won't traumatize them...well, he won't traumatize them well enough."

"Bree, we talked about this..."

"He's the boss of the castle dungeon."

"...Now that's just getting ahead of me..." Despite her protest however, there was a smile on her face. Her eyes even shone with elation.

"Hey, did you hear about the last-minute contestant in the beauty pageant?"

"Yeah, it's Chris, right?"

"I don't know how, but her friend managed to drag her into it somehow..."

"...Think it's that Kazuma's fault?"

"Hopefully."

Oh no. "Dear..."

"I'm not angry. _You _are."

"You know I'm not..." Alright, so maybe pulverizing the next chair is a good sign that I'm angry, but I swear I slipped. I promise.

Ah, my wife just did the same thing. Except she did it with my hand instead of the other chair beside her.

"Dear..."

"Punishment. And this is our daughter's seat."

"[Heal]."

"Thank you for understanding. Now, I believe that we need to split up for our current tasks."

Uh oh. "Which are...?"

"I search for our daughter's _charming _assistant, and _you _need to take her place in the pageant."

"Are you–"

"Yes, dear. You're not objecting, are you?"

It's kind of hard to object when you're having your hand crushed by your ow, ow, ow, ow, ow–

"Gladly!" I scream out even as I turn towards my wife with horrified eyes, finally noticing the bag of clothes around her waist.

She smiles, giving the bag towards me before she stands up and winks at me. "Remember dear, smile for the camera, alright?"

With that, she leaves, and I turn back to stare at my bag of clothes. Well, my old clothes, but that wasn't the point.

...I'm going to regret this later, aren't I?


	8. On Defense of the Guildmaster's Chastity

[Axel]

...You have got to be kidding me.

"What are you doing here!?"

"I came here for the beauty pageant, yo! Although, seeing you in those clothes...it's a hobby of yours?"

"More like my old adventurer disguise." I grumbled, scratching my head as I stared at the person currently in front of me. Really, she was supposed to be guarding the Guild. Why's she here, exactly?

"Ah, Vanir took over, saying something about killing off their incentive to go into a castle dungeon or something." The teen in front of me sheepishly said, before her eyes widened and she gasped. "Wait! What if they're preparing to attack my castle!? All of the time that I spent trying to get every decoration right is going to– Ow!"

"Their not raiding your castle, idiot." I chided, crossing my arms over my (shamefully padded) chest as I sighed at her. "Speaking of castles, why aren't you in yours?"

"Do you really think a Japanese like me would miss out on a festival?" Alright, that's a good point, but still... "Plus, I heard that you took over the Guild in Axel. I came here to see how you're doing, welcoming gifts and all. We could have a party with Vanir and Wiz too! Old buddies!"

I sighed. "As much as I wanted to, my wife's here, so you'll have to wait by tomorrow."

The teen in front of me blinked, before tilting her head to the side. "Say, this wife of yours...I remember you moping about it during our drink sessions while complaining that– Mmph!"

"Alright, I think that's enough." I chided her, putting a hand over her mouth to shut her up. A second later, she licked my palm, and I my hand recoiled back as I wiped it against my robes.

"Did you really have to do that?"

"Nope!" She said, sticking out her tongue as she skipped a few paces away. I sighed, dismissing my outfit as I followed after her, all the while shaking my head as I did so.

"Matsuri, come on..."

As much as my successor loved being gung-ho about everything, it really only meant that I have to clean up after her. Like now, for example.

Even now I could see Chris taking her seat alongside her assistant, along with a suit of armor that seemed really interested in me for some reason.

Come to think of it, my dear daughter was trying to seal an armor-type relic, isn't it? And it had its own very specific preferences, didn't it?

...My daughter, did you really just give me a sympathetic smile?

"What a wonderful performance from our resident noble, Lalatina-sama!"

"Don't call me Lalatina!"

"And now, coming up are our final two contestants, both dark horses that had just entered this beauty pageant a few moments ago, thus negating Lalatina-sama's participation in the first place!"

"What did you say!? And I told you to stop calling me Lalatina!"

"Presenting, the wannabe Demon King, Matsuri-san, and the True Demon King...G-G-Guildmaster...?"

I was unwillingly forced on stage by the minx that I called my successor. And of course, it also meant that I was currently facing a silent crowd, all staring at me with wide eyes.

Except for my wonderful wife, of course. She was too busy taking pictures.

"Go on. React. I dare you. I've got an [Explosion] spell all ready to cast and everything. Even if my output is less than that crazy explosion girl, I can still hurt all of you in the stands."

...What do you mean that the announcer was correct, huh? I'm not that scary. In fact, the actual Demon King is standing beside me and waving at the crowd in her kimono and everything. _She's _the one that you should be scared off.

Also, I'm sure that Vanir is going to be full for a night.

"EXACTLY MY TYPE!!!"

"Ho?" My eyes narrow as I search for the one who had enough balls to say that to my face, but instead I find a set of sentient armor racing towards me at the speed of sound.

Wait. Isn't that–?

"THE ANDROGYNOUS APPEARANCE! THE GAP MOE! THE FACT THAT THEY'RE A MAGIC CASTER INSTEAD OF A MUSCLE-BOUND IDIOT! M-M-M-M-MY TYYYYYYYYYYYYYPEEEEEEE!"

The armor rattled as it entered the stage, huffing and breathing like some kind of pervert. No, I was mistaken.

_Exactly _like a pervert. "Come here, little one, I have some candy inside me, I swear..."

Oh dear _god _save me from this scarily accurate representation. Esta? Esta! Esta, my dear wife, just where the hell are you– oh.

Right. The camera that she used to picture me could only take twenty pictures before the manatite battery wore out. She must be getting it refilled from a nearby magic shop...

...My dear ladies and gentlemen, I am screwed. Well, _about _to be, but it doesn't change the outcome.

"Now hold up, you shifty-looking piece of armor! Just what do you think you're doing to a married man!?"

Matsuri...you just became my third-favorite person in this world.

"He's...married?" The armor seemed to pause, even as I chant the spells for [Sacred Sealing] quietly. "I remember my previous owner telling me about this. I do believe it's called NTR, and I...I...I LOVE IT!"

"Matsuri!"

"Roger!"

I could wipe tears of joy. How I platonically love you, my dear successor. You chucked that armor off the stage like it was nothing.

"MOVE, GIRL! I WISH TO PARTAKE IN THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT THAT MY FORMER MASTER LIKED TO INDULGE IN BUT NEVER SHOW ME!"

"Matsuri!"

"I heard you the first time!"

My successor, how far had you come...at first, you were just a brat that wanted the title back in their chuuni days, but now you're such a splendid successor...! To meet an armor that I had personally forged head-on without even flinching...!

"GIRL, TO MEET MY BLOWS HEAD-ON...IT SEEMS THAT I HAVE TO UNLEASH MY ULTIMATE POWER!"

"Matsuri!"

"Bree, shut up!"

"Idiot, move out of the way! I'm ready to cast my spell!"

"Ah..."

Oh, my dear successor, how far have you fallen...to think that you wouldn't even realize what I meant!

Although to be fair, she _did _say she usually worked solo...

"NO! MY DREAMS...MY NTR!"

"Take this, you disgusting piece of adamantite! [Sacred Sealing]!"

In a move that I totally didn't rip off from one of the games that Matsuri had lying around in her personal quarters, I released a pure blast of energy from my palms, meeting the armor head-on as I grinned in satisfaction.

First, this clothing. Second, this amount of padding on my chest. Third, my successor that couldn't even do a simple thing like keeping watch. Then, this armor that had once targeted my cute and adorable little daughter who had the gall to aim lower.

...Needless to say, it was quite satisfying to see the damn thing become a big lump of adamantite.


	9. On the Guildmaster's New Rival

[Axel]

A picnic is nice, especially when you have it with your family.

Sadly, I won't be able to see them for quite a while. "You guys are going now, huh?"

"Well, _someone _destroyed the relic that I was supposed to retrieve..."

"Do explain as to why you would sic such a disgusting piece of adamantite on my person."

"Because I thought that you would be able to handle it!"

"I would've, if _someone _didn't decide to refill the manatite in the camera that I have gave them..."

"Why did you have to limit the maximum amount of pictures to twenty then?"

"There's a hard limit to how many times I'd like you to picture me in my old attire, obviously!"

Yup. This family. I wouldn't trade them for the world.

"...Anyway, hug?"

"Do I need to...?"

"My daughter, you're most likely not going to be here in a few weeks, so your father would most likely cry himself to sleep whilst bugging your assistant to see how you're doing, even if it's only second-hand news."

"I'm not like that..."

"..."

My gaze turned towards the horizon.

"Dad, please don't bug Kazuma-san."

"I can and I will. That is, if he tries to sneak into the guild without having done a durian quest first or having their priest leveled up to thirty or higher..."

"You know that their priest is level twenty-eight, right?"

"Oh..."

"Don't sound so disappointed! Why are you gunning for Kazuma-san in the first place!?"

"He just reminds me of someone dangerous, that's all..." Needless to say, that unassuming young teenager reminds me of my former self. Oh, what I'd do to prevent making those mistakes...but then again, I'd never meet my wife in the first place, so I guess I wouldn't wish it for myself.

Esta chuckled, bringing us both together in a hug as I happily sighed and leaned into her embrace. It's been a long time since I can relax like this... "Dear, when are you coming back?"

"Right after we sort the mess with the armor-type relic that you exploded."

"That's going to take a while, then..." I sighed. If Heaven hasn't changed the last time I was in there, then scores of bitter old men would continue on debating as to whether or not the destruction of that relic was good or not. On one hand, it was a priceless relic. On the other, it was made by me...

"You're also right about that."

"Ugh..." I turned towards her with pleading eyes, only to see her cyan eyes staring out into the horizon as well. Ah, it would seem that she knew what was coming and took steps to prevent that.

"Alright, fine, I'll stop begging you. One last...?"

My wife glances towards our daughter, and I couldn't help but chuckle, seeing her currently asleep in my wife's arms. I glance towards Esta, seeing her smile at our daughter with her eyes half-closed, and I turn back towards the horizon.

"Might as well catch a few winks while I"m at it..."

[Adventurer's Guild - Axel]

"...And let me guess, you're going to stay here, aren't you."

It wasn't even a question. It was more or less a statement that escaped my lips, heralding a future that I didn't want to think about.

"Of course I am! I decorated my castle already, and the dungeons around it shouldn't need some maintenance for a while!" Matsuri said, placing her hands on her waist as if she were a mother scolding her young child. "...And I saw the inside of your Guild earlier. It doesn't seem homely enough."

"Make it _too _homely, and nobody would even bother to take quests anyways." I replied back, before a smirk formed on my face. "Of course, given my recent proclamation, I'd just kick them out in the first place."

"Right, you're starting plans on remaking Verdia's old castle into a dungeon, right?" For reasons that I could fully understand, there was a crazed glint in her eyes as she placed a hand on my shoulder. "...Can I decorate it?"

"Hell no. I don't want Vanir complaining about not enough people being in his boss room."

"Wait, Vanir's the boss?" Matsuri barked once as she slapped me on the back. "That's a good idea, Bree-san! I didn't even know as to why I didn't even think of it!"

"That's why we're currently trekking up this hill", I said, waving a hand to the crowd of adventurers currently lounging around the top of the hill. For some reason they froze when they saw me, then immediately stood stiff and turned to salute in my direction.

...I'm not even going to ask. "You can go hang around the Guild staff for a bit. I'm going to address those lazy layabouts."

"Gotcha!"

A chuckle escaped my lips even as I finally reached the summit of the hill, clapping my hands once to stifle all conversations. It would seem that my newly-gained reputation as the 'Demon Guildmaster' is working wonders.

"First things first, if I see that crazy explosion girl starting to cast [Explosion] on that wonderfully fine castle over there, I'm going to ban her and her party from going on this dungeon. Have fun taking durian quests."

I smirk, turning my gaze towards that crazy explosion girl, before I frowned as I heard her muttering under her breath. That won't do. "[Silence]."

"Mmph!"

"Rule no. 1 of adventuring, always have an insurance." I reminded everyone, before pointing towards the castle. "Now, as much as I hate to repeat myself, I know by heart by this point that the rest of you are idiots, so I'll have to speak up again. This is a dungeon to level up your priests, which means that if you want to regain access to the Guild by today, your priest and _only _your priest would be killing the undead. I've got some manatite stored up in my adventures, so I'll be giving away three pieces of them pro bono just for today. Approach the receptionists to receive them, or if you're too braindead to even understand simple instructions. Everyone got that?"

"YESSIR!"

"Good. As of this moment, [Vanir's Dungeon] is going to be open twenty four seven!"

"OI!"

I blink, turning towards my cute and adorable little daughter's assistant. "Yes?"

"Did you just say that the dungeon is called [Vanir's Dungeon]?"

"Yes."

Whispers began shuffling around the crowd.

"Vanir...ain't that the destitute shop owner's assistant?"

"They say that the man catches stray Neroids that try to raid the neighborhood's garbage."

"Yeah, my mom says that he's quite a catch for someone so young. You think that he's married to the destitute shop owner?"

"Nah. I heard that he scolds her everyday for the shop not doing well."

"An abusive relationship...?"

Oh dear. I'll bet that my old friend would want some revenge for this rumor.

"Guildmaster, do you have any durian quests lined up?"

"Talk to me later, Kazuma", I said, before turning back towards the crowd of whispering adventurers. Now, what to say to nip this one in the bud... "Now, for anyone who manages to defeat the boss of the dungeon, they'll be allowed to mooch off the Guild for five years!"

As expected, the crowd went wild.

As expected, I clapped my hands.

As expected, they immediately fell silent.

"Now go, my little layabouts. Remember that you won't be allowed back in the Guild lest your party's priest is over level thirty."

Much to my surprise, the adventurers nodded as one, standing up and exiting the hill in organized lines. I blinked, before turning towards the Guild staff with a raised brow to see if they had anything to do with this, but they simply shook their heads.

...Ah, I can see Matsuri giving me a thumbs-up.

Well, at least they wouldn't be doing anything that I wouldn't do...right?

"[Explosion]!"

I breathed a sharp sigh, even as one of the castle's spires came tumbling down from the force of the spell. I met gazes with the crazy explosion girl, seeing the smug expression on her face while my cute and adorable little daughter's assistant began to pale.

Ah, so they were both in the same party. How sad (not). HOw deplorable (not). It seems that I would reluctantly (very much not) need to pass punishment on him and his party.

My gaze met Matsuri's, finding her gray orbs carrying the same hint of anger as I did. Of course she was angry.

That was her room, after all.

"Heh, let's see you survive this one, crazy explosion girl."


	10. On Breaking the Guildmaster's Ban

[Kazuma's Mansion – Axel]

"YOU IDIOOOOT!!!"

Now, it's early in the morning, around eleven or so. Usually at this time, my party and I would be at the Guild, killing time until we find a quest that we can do.

But now? Now we can't. Because we got banned from the Guild.

"Honestly! It's either you, Darkness, or Aqua that's trying to make me insane! Just yesterday I had managed to convince that useless goddess to go and kill some undead so we'll be allowed back in the Guild, but what did you do!? You casted [Explosion] on the castle! The very same castle that the Guildmaster warned you to _not _explode!"

"Well, I couldn't help it! That bastard was all 'crazy explosion girl' this and 'don't cast [Explosion] on that'. You mean to say that you _wouldn't _do that if they insulted your pride!?"

"Oh?" My eyes narrow at this chuuni, explosion-loving, blue-balling, unrepentant loli. "So Megumin-san. Do tell me as to how are we going to go on quests?"

"That's easy! You first go to the Gui–"

Hm. It seems that she's smart enough to realize the situation that we're in.

"W-Well, we can just lounge around the house, right? We have enough money to last for a long time, anyway. Long enough that we can simply outwait that annoying Guildmaster."

"Ho. Then tell me, where do we keep our money?"

"That's painfully obvious! While we have some in our person, most of our wealth is stored... in the Guild..."

Silence. Then...

"Well, Kazuma can just–"

"Are you an idiot? Do you think that I can just waltz in and threaten the Guildmaster into allowing us back into the Guild? Aren't you supposed to be a Crimson Demon? The race with high Intelligence? Then why don't you use that peanut brain of yours to see that it's a stupid idea!"

"...What if I casted [Explosion] on the Guild–"

Ah, no use. This idiot is too deep in denial. Normally in this situation I could use Darkness's influence, but...

"Kazuma, you must understand that before the current Guildmaster retired, he was a highly-successful adventurer on the front lines, driving back the Demon King Army to a stalemate with Belzerg's forces. I cannot in good conscience force the man to submit to a noble's will."

"I got it the first time. You're useless."

"Mmn...!"

Aaagh, this is bad! At this rate, we're going to have to sell our mansion just to get by. Then after that, we'd have to sleep in the stables again...

No, we can't even do that. I'm pretty sure the Guildmaster has control of them too, considering that it's the most common place where new adventurers sleep.

There's literally no way out!

...Well there is, but it's the one that is going to make things a lot worse.

_Ding dong!_

Finally! Something that I can do to take my mind off of this mess! "Hold on, I'm coming!"

I sprinted out of the living room like it was on fire. Well, I'd be selling it for firewood in a few days if the ban keeps going on.

Although when I opened the door, I met the grinning face of the Guildmaster.

"Kazuma-san, what a coincidence! It seems that you still don't want to shell out the funds for the repairs out of your own pocket. It's fine, though! Last I checked, you still had about twenty three million eris in your account, but I'm afraid to say that it wouldn't be enough for you to pay off the damages. I'm sure you and I could cut a deal out. I've heard _news _that you're good at it."

Can someone save me from this loan shark? I don't want to go into debt again!

"Sadly, if you want to cut a deal now, you're going to have to visit me outside the Guild later. I'm here to deliver a package to the little ungrateful runt who doesn't seen to care about property damage. Ungrateful brat, too. It's the most likely reason as to why her chest wouldn't grow any time soon."

"Darkness upon darkness, a curtain of everlasting– Mmph!"

"And [Silence]. Do you want me to teach you that skill, Kazuma-san? I'm sure it would be quite useful for someone of your skillset. All I need is for you to give me that Crimson Demon–"

"Nee-chan! Are you here? Komekko wants to play!"

At least someone had the heart to save me from this passive-aggressive former Demon King...

...Wait. "Komekko?"

"Nee-chan! Mom says that you need to get laid with Kazuma-san immediately, or she's going to disown you! Whatever that means!"

I stared at the Guildmaster, finding him gone as a note fluttered towards my nose. I swiped it out of mid-air and read it immediately.

_"Take care of the brat in the same way you took care of the newest dungeon. Signed, the one that you still owe a lot of money to."_

...Eris-sama, I can't do this all on my own.

[Ludurina Pass – Axel]

"You just hate us, don't you?"

I blink, glancing up my goggles to find my cute and adorable little daughter's assistant staring at me with a blank look on his face. I then glance towards his party, currently shaking their boots as they waited for the griffin and manticore to show up.

My gaze turned back to Kazuma. "No. I just hate about three-quarters of your party."

"That's three people, isn't it!?"

"Oh, you can count, that's good." I said, nodding with a smile on my face as Kazuma was in the process of blowing a fuse.

"Who's the other person in the first place...oh. It's Aqua, isn't it?"

"Huh? You mean the dumb, manipulative, selfish piece of trash who had the gall to not only tarnish my name, but to also push on her paperwork to my cute and adorable little daughter?"

"Right, I should've known..."

Driving my name to the ground was fine. But to set her sights on my daughter? That was the worst decision that she ever made.

"So, why do you hate me?"

"Because you look at my daughter the same way you look at those party members of yours."

"I don't!"

"Ho...?"

"I-I really don't!"

"Just get on with the quest." I replied, shooing him off with a hand. "You're the party that's responsible for eliminating three Demon King Army Generals, right? You're also the party that dealt the final blow against the Mobile Fortress Destroyer, right? So what's a griffin and a manticore to you people?"

Kazuma could only blanch as he slowly trudged back to his teammates, and I couldn't help but chuckle while I flipped through my newspaper. "Matsuri?"

"You called?"

I glanced towards my successor with an appraising look on my face.

"You think that they can do this quest?"

"Absolutely not."

"That's what I expected." I sighed, closing my newspaper as I pulled out a whistle from my pockets and blew.

A screeching sound echoed a second later, and I glance towards my successor with a smirk. "Say, how'd you feel about having a griffin as a pet?"

"Hm, I don't really know...Can I decorate it?"

"Armored griffins, huh..."

We both let out a dreamy sigh at that, even as a griffon landed on the plateau with a manticore hot on its heels.

"...Want to test your beast tamer skills on it?"

The only reply that I received from Matsuri was a whoop, already sprinting towards the griffin with a crazed expression in her eyes.

Meanwhile, I could only sigh and lean back against my seat, ready to observe the mayhem.


	11. On the Guildmaster's Part-Time Worker

**AN: Can I get some reviews here? I don't really know if you guys are liking my stuff if it's just one guy doing all the reviews and stuff. Ask me questions! Clarifications! Flame me for all I care! I can handle it!**

**...Probably.**

**Anyways, thanks PassiveNox. Onto the chapter itself.**

[Ludurina Pass – Axel]

I don't think that Bree knows what his actions are going to do. I mean that's probably what he wants everyone to think, but I'm entitled to my own opinion.

Of course, my opinion went out of the window the moment I became the new Demon King, but...eh. Bree doesn't mind my visits.

Most likely because the geezer likes company, and his wife and daughter aren't there with him. Guy likes to dote on those two a _lot_.

Had me even decorate the castle a month beforehand and everything! Even gave me a blank cheque to do it!

...Isn't that going too far?

Anyway, I think that Bree doesn't have any idea as to what he's doing. That's probably the reason why he's all too willing to become a Guildmaster, of all things.

I'd read my share of light novels, of course. I knew that he just wants to leave the stigma of being branded as the Demon King. Nevertheless, he was anything but.

Heh, I can still remember years ago when I snuck out from my party, wanting to sneak into the Demon King Army and eliminate the root of all the fighting.

All I found instead was a tired and belligerent old man who was just targeting other people for besmirching the name of the country that he led. He only wanted the Axis cult and the Crimson Demons in the first place.

Although, since they were Belzerg's main line of defense against foreign intrusion...

I only pieced this out a while back, during my 'decorating' of the Demon King's castle.

Of course, by decorating, I meant 'eliminating all traces of evidence that a change in leadership happened that other countries could use against us', but it's fairly simple in theory.

Basically, it all came down to heaven power plays. The patron goddess of the Axis cult wanted to spread its roots out to gain equal coverage as the Eris cult, but there's not a lot of people left that are free to worship other religions.

All except for one, of course. The country of Elyria, now known to the world as the country of the Demon King. Even though its leader is a fallen god, he doesn't force them to worship his religion.

Weirdly progressive of this world, but then I remember that the gods have knowledge of other worlds as well. Bree might've applied it to his country.

Anyways, the Axis cult all but had free reign in recruiting the country of Elyria. Of course, given the Axis cultists...Well, Elyria certainly didn't want them in their country any longer.

So, Bree had to close the borders on the Axis cultists.

Of course, the patron goddess of the Axis cult – like the selfish, glory-hogging bitch that she was – took it as a declaration of war on her followers.

So began the disinformation campaign. Belzerg got hit the hardest, since most of its nobles were members of the Axis cult (given that they liked what the Axis cult preached, for obvious reasons), and they began antagonizing Elyria.

...Of course, since Elyria was headed by an actual god – even if Bree fell from grace – they just simply went on their lives with their advanced technology. Upon noticing this, Cold War mentality took over, and Belzerg managed to convince the other countries to unite against Elyria using some shifty logic.

The whole world was basically a powder keg, and a random Axis cultist (or was it really?) lit the match that started a war that spanned several centuries.

...Of course, I figured out half of this story from the forbidden texts in the Capital, but when I read that, it necessitated a trip to the Demon King's Country.

And I hated everything related to the Axis cult ever since.

[Ludurina Pass – Axel]

...So why am I protecting their ilk, really?

"H-huh?"

"Well, that was a close one!" I turn back towards the young man who seems to be the leader of the party. Satou Kazuma...if what I heard from Bree's whining was correct.

Decent guy, but has a perverted streak a mile wide. Bree told me it was the hormones, so I can expect him to mellow out within the next two years or so.

After that... _"Master, you did _not _just think about scoring a younger man."_

_"Cut me some slack here, Ingvild. Even Bree's telling me to just shack up with someone."_

_"He did say that you can just do the trial version..."_

_"I do _not _do one night stands!" _I glare at my sword, the amethyst embedded on its pommel blinking on and off. Oh, if I could just have a mute button on it...

...Damn. I _knew _I should've taken the archwizard class. That [Silence] spell that Bree likes to spam around was looking _very _tempting...

"Ah! Behind you!"

_"...You heard the boy."_

I sighed, quickly whirling around and using [Parry] on the manticore's claws. Its snake tail went for a quick strike, but I warded it off with an [Armor Piece].

The manticore hissed before jumping back a few spaces, eyeing me warily as I took the time to turn back around and wave a hand at Bree's latest in a long line of problems.

_"Plus future conquest."_

Right, plus future conque–

"Uh, why are you trying to snap your sword in half?"

I laugh. "Oh, it's just, you know? Piercing through scales with a blade this thin is going to cause a few kinks."

_"Might want to bend the other way by about three centimeters, Master."_

"Actually, I think I need to replace this sword sometime soon..."

"Right..."

_"Good job, Master. Now he thinks you're weird."_

_"Ingvild, I swear I'm taking a level in archwizard when I get back."_

_"...My apologies, Master."_

"Anyway, the Guildmaster sent me here when he saw that you were having a hard time."

"Can you say thanks to him when I get back?"

"After all, he says that you can't pay back those repairs if you're dead!" I laughed, patting the young man on the shoulder even as he grumbled and jolted forward.

"In any case, my name's Matsuri. Call me a part-timer for the Guild. I can solo the manticore no problem, but you guys still need to keep that griffin off my back. You alright with that?"

"Fine! Perfectly fine!" He replies with a salute, even as I chuckle and send him a wink.

"If you get out of this unscathed, how about we go on a drink sometime? It would be better if it's in the Guild."

He seemed to freeze, and I snapped my fingers in front of his face to get him out of whatever he's thinking. "...Is that a yes or no?"

"Yes! Perfectly, totally, excellently yes!"

He screams, all but stomping back towards his party members as they stare at me with flat glares. I give them a wink back, and the stares all but turn venomous.

...Did I?

_"Master, is it prudent for me to warn Bree about your womanizing ways?"_

_"I will use you to strip the scales off that manticore."_

_"Master, need I remind you that I am first and foremost a rapier–"_

"Matsuri-san, that manticore is charging at you!"

I ignored Ingvild and charged at the manticore, all but appearing as a blur to the abomination's eyes as I quickly pierce through its joints and leave it unable to move.

"[Astral Slash]!"

An arc of pure energy severs the manticore's wings off, and I quickly bounce off the ground and meet its eyes in an instant.

"[Iai Strike]!"

Ingvild pierced straight through the manticore's chest, causing it to scream as it died a few seconds later. I sighed in relief as I pulled my partner out of the corpse, landing on the ground with lithe feet a second later.

Seriously. That was too easy. Didn't the Guild files say that it was something along the lines of level ninety-five? Unless...

I glance towards Bree, still reclining in his chair. He yawned, before finally noticing my gaze and blinking at me in confusion, as if asking me what's wrong.

...I'm not even going to go there.

"That's a good warm-up", I said, rolling my shoulders around as I glanced towards my partner. "Say, you think that we should spar with Bree later?"

_"I'd rather scrape off each scale on that manticore, thank you very much. Your predecessor would just hit me with a [Sacred Break Spell] and poof. I'm dead."_

It was supposed to be a joke, though. Although, since Ingvild was offering...

_"Scraping manticore scales it is, then."_

_"Yaaay..."_

I laughed, sheathing my partner as I glanced towards the target of Kazuma's own party. The griffin was – thankfully – unconscious, and I couldn't help but grin as I can already see what I planned for the monster.

Armored griffins...Hell yeah.

Even now I can see Bree smiling at me as if I were a genius. To which I totally am.

Who would be crazy enough to strap armor on a griffin, anyway?


	12. On the Guildmaster's Schemes

**AN: Alright. So, about the Bree-verse. It's basically the by-product of my Fate fic A Phantasmal Existence. Check it out.****I'll get into detail on what it means in my profile. **

[Adventurer's Guild]

...I don't know what I'm currently seeing right now.

"Careful there, little guy. You might just bite someone else's head off, and I'll be forced to chop you up for parts."

"Bree, can I ride the griffin already?"

"I'm still putting on the faceplate, so just wait a few more moments."

I glance towards my party, seeing both Megumin and Darkness looking at the griffin with excitement in their eyes. Well, for different reasons.

As for that useless goddess, we left her in the mansion, seeing that she was currently annoyed at something for whatever reason.

...Eh, I don't really care that much. In fact, I have better things to care about.

Like why is the Guildmaster putting on armor for the griffin that we caught a few days ago.

"Um...what are you doing, Guildmaster?"

The silver-haired man blinked, dodging the beak headed for his face as he turned towards us with a smile. Well, not before shooting Megumin a glare.

...It seems that he's still holding a grudge. "Ah, this? Remember the griffin that you guys caught? Well, Matsuri tamed it, and so she bugged me to make some armor for it so she could have a mount. Pretty cool, right?"

"Wait, that part-time worker?"

"Yup. She actually came here from the capital to contact me about something important." The Guildmaster swerved to avoid getting pecked off my the griffin, only for the part-time woman that saved us from the manticore to lay a hand on the griffin's feathers, instantly making it calm down.

...Now that I think about it, judging by the black hair and eyes, isn't she a Japanese as well? Is her cheat power some kind of unrealistic taming skill?

Because that griffin is looking at me like I'm its next meal.

"Who's a good boy? You are! Here's a fish for finally putting on that armor that I got for you!"

Then again, it's hard to think that it's a high-level monster given how it seems to act like a cat, of all things.

Anyway, I was getting off-track. "So...you said something about the capital?"

"Right. Capital." The Guildmaster dusted off his robes and turned to face us. "So, there's been reports that someone's casting [Explosion] on the frontlines. I don't need to tell you who they're currently suspecting."

"Do you seriously think of me as nothing more than a crazy explosion girl!?"

I could only shiver as I turned towards Megumin. Now that I thought about it, the Guildmaster was correct, wasn't he? I've been seeing Megumin go for days without casting [Explosion, even though she said it herself that she needed to cast it once a day.

Since the castle that was now Vanir's dungeon was under the care of the Guild, it meant that Megumin couldn't cast [Explosion] on it everyday. Therefore...

"K-Kazuma...? I swear I didn't do it!"

"Why are you acting all suspicious, then?"

"She's not the one who did it." The Guildmaster cut in, rummaging into his pockets and pulling out a brown staff. "If she was, then I would've stormed your mansion already."

...That was more scary than I imagined.

"In any case, that's my job to resolve. You guys are tagging along for propaganda purposes. I'm sure Kazuma knows what I'm talking about."

"You mean we're just there for show?"

"Correct. You get to parade around the Capital, go to parties with nobles, and even meet the Royals. Pretty exhausting stuff, if you ask me."

Wait. "Did you just say 'meet the Royals'? Like, the royal family?"

"Yup."

Iris...your nii-chan is here to meet you again.

"I'LL ACCEPT!"

"Well, if it's meeting Iris-sama, then it can't be helped..."

"I can blow up the one besmirching my good name, right? Right?"

"Well, sounds good for me." The Guildmaster said, shrugging and drawing a circle around us with his staff...then he stopped. "Wait, where's the other one?"

Huh? Oh, he meant Aqua. "She's probably slacking off somwehere with booze."

The Guildmaster snorted before he sighed. "Well, I'll just have to make do with you three, then. I have classes in archpriest after all. Now gather round, the lot of you. I'm pretty sure you heard this many times at the teleport shop, but keep your hands inside the circle."

Remembering what happened the last time that we teleported, I drew closer to the center of the makeshift circle that the Guildmaster made.

"Well, here goes nothing..." The Guildmaster raised his staff before slamming it to the ground.

"[Teleport]."

[Belzerg's Capital]

Well, now that I sent off the kids, I need to relax. Sure, I managed to finish the paperwork for the whole month, but that didn't do squat if I couldn't use the extra vacation time.

Ergo, hot springs. Given that those things were hard to dig up, I assume that they would most likely be the work of those who were transported here from other worlds.

...Ugh, right. I can't solve the crux of the problem if I just waltzed up to the Root and barred all kinds of transportation between this Root and others. Sure, I _could, _but it would most likely result in a one-man war against the entirety of gods and goddesses currently occupying Heaven.

Sounds simple, but Esta and Eris were still there. Plus, I don't want to imagine what would happen if I just went up and did that.

...I do remember what happened the last time I did so. Been the first reset of a Root in...a long time.

"That would be 1200 eris."

In any case, I paid for the overpriced experience and stepped into the mixed bath, sighing in relief as the water slowly took away the stress. Between the upkeep of Vanir's dungeon, Matsuri, paperwork, and making sure that the adventurers didn't do anything, I was getting too stressed for my liking.

"...You're early."

"Really? I thought I'd save time by teleporting here." My eyes turn towards the person beside me, a red-haired woman with cat-like eyes. "Besides, the earlier I'm here, the sooner I can get things done."

"Is that so..." The woman trailed off, heaving a soft sigh as she chuckled. "Well, have you gotten my other half?"

"Knowing that beast, if it's not here, then it's probably going to be on a warpath."

"That sounds like him." The woman paused, before turning her gaze onto me. "...Are you sure you want to help me with this? You _do _realize that this is going to put a larger target on you. Mostly that Regina."

"I'm not that worried", I answered airily. "If it's Regina we're talking about, then she'd be joining just for the sake of it."

"I don't know. The process of uplifting her back into a genuine goddess sounds more important than fun."

"Let her come, then. I don't care."

"I think you should." Yellow eyes bore into me, and I replied with a cold grin.

"Wolfbach, tell me which spheres I govern again?"

"Imagination, Creativity, Freedom..."

"...and Humanity." I finished, getting out of the bath as I met the fallen goddess' glare. "The mere fact that I still exist without anyone worshipping me is proof enough of my strength."

"...And if someone chooses to eliminate your source of strength?"

"Let them come." I replied, a slow anger burning through my gaze as I produced an object that seemed to shimmer in and out of existence – an object that no one can understand.

"They'll be lucky to kill them all off in the first place."


	13. On the Artificer's Introduction

[Royal Palace – Belzerg's Capital]

Well, you learn something new everyday.

One such thing turned out to be that Kazuma was familiarly acquainted why the princess. Frustratingly so.

The fact was that the princess was uttering words that I'm sure were slang from Kazuma's former world.

"Huh? Is that a griffin?"

I grin, turning towards the direction where the princess pointed at, and waved a hand at the rider currently seated on top of it.

The rider waved back as well, spurring their mount downwards as the griffin swooped low and began to pick up speed.

"Hey...doesn't that griffin look like it's swooping down on us?"

"Should we sound the alarm, Onii-san?"

"...No. That griffin is most likely tamed, since you can't just put on the armor on a wild griffin. If my suspicions are correct..."

I reached behind my back and umsheathed my staff, expanding it to its full size before waving it around the air. The griffin rider nodded, their mount extending its legs as if grasping something–

–And I found myself getting snagged by the griffin as I was quickly hauled up on its back.

"Onii-san, that's...!"

"See, I knew it. That's most likely the Guildmaster's friend. I recognized that armor from a while ago when..."

Their conversation was taken over by the rush of wind, and I adjusted my balance on the ornery griffin while their rider tried their best to calm it down.

I then casted [Silence, and allowed myself to heave a sigh at the companionable silence.

"That almost gave me a heart attack. Don't do it again, Matsuri."

"Aww, but it was fun!"

No it wasn't. Especially when the damn griffin turns to look at you like you're its next meal.

"I swear I'm getting you another one if this guy keeps on eyeing me like meat."

"Please don't."

The griffin screeched, tucking in its wings and quickly whirling around to fling me off the damn saddle. I would've liked to turn the damn griffin into meat, but Matsuri was still flying the thing around.

Oh well, no choice. We're still at the frontline after all.

"[Bottomless Swamp]!"

The ground before me shifted in consistency, now carrying a much darker color as ripples began to form on my landing area. Flyers from the side of the Demon King's Army swarmed around me, ready to pick me off in a moment's instant.

Even the adventurers on the ground looked on in horror, but I wasn't going to be bird feed. Well, at least not at the moment.

"[Firestorm]."

The air around me burst into flames, a blast of magical winds forcing the flames to spread in random, eclectic directions. The demonic birds shrieked as the scent of burned feathers filled the air, and even my fall was halted for an instant as an updraft of hot air rushed below me to fuel the flames.

A second later, I reached the ground, landing with the soft tap of my staff as the embers from my spell flickered through the air.

I met gazes with the hooded figure situated on the other hill, their cat-like eyes burrowing into mine.

My reply was a challenging grin, and as expected, they answered to the challenge.

"[Explosion]."

A rumble filled the air as the ground around the rest of the adventurers began to grow hot. I sighed and moved one finger, my lips already moving in a counter.

"[Niflheim]."

Frost flashed over the entire battlefield, covering the adventurers with a coating of ice. There they stood frozen in place, the [Explosion] finally occurring as it burnt off the thick layer of ice that covered their bodies. What wasn't melted was then shattered by the shockwave, and a few moments later an army of adventurers and soldiers alike could only blink in confusion as they glanced around their feet.

My gaze turned back to the hooded figure, but she was already gone.

"Heh. Can't even face me upfront."

An armored griffin landed next to me, their rider jumping off before the griffin charged towards the pile of frozen enemies and began smashing through them in glee.

"Matsuri", I called the griffin rider beside me, watching as they took off their helmet to reveal my successor. "You saw her, right?"

"I did. What the hell is she doing here?"

"Finding her other half, she said." I replied with a sigh, shaking my head at the griffin currently barreling through the rest of the Demon King's forces that weren't caught in the range of my [Niflheim]. "...You know what to do, I take it?"

"Yup. Can I have Vanir for this, though?"

"Sure. Just say that he's on paid leave."

"Take care of my griffin, then?"

I glanced towards her with a blank gaze. "I take it that's a no, then..."

"Of course. You've seen how much I wanted to fry that wannabe bird out of the sky." I sighed. "...As much as I don't want to say this, but let Kazuma take care of it."

"Him? He's going to die."

"You're the griffin's master, right? Then order the guy to be docile around the guy." My knuckles cracked as a smile formed on my face. "The slippery bastard bend the rules, I knock him down a few pegs."

"I still want a flying griffin, though."

"You got it."

Matsuri nodded, whistling a high-pitched sound as the griffin stopped and immediately bounded over towards its master, lolling its tongue all the way through like a dog.

The moment that it had its sights on me however, it tried to bite my head off.

At this time, my patience was already wearing thin, and I needed to let out a bit of steam.

So I snapped the damn griffin's beak shut, and cracked it once for good measure. "Do it one more time. I dare you."

Good thing the griffin let out a whimper. Lest the damn thing would have to feed through a straw.

"...Bree, did anyone tell you that you need to ease up on the brutality?"

"Sorry. Just these situations remind me of my former job. You can't believe how much I wanted to strangle them for it."

"Haha..."

"Haha..."

We both laughed, but we knew that it was completely true.


	14. On the Artificer's Subordinates

[Royal Palace – Belzerg's Capital]

"Isn't this a quaint surprise? The Artificer arriving in person...and here I had thought that you were enjoying your retirement in Axel."

The King looked down with an amused smile on his face, all the while I leaned around my staff and stood in the middle of the chamber.

By the side I could hear some of the King's yes-men begging me to kneel, but I promptly ignored them. Not too important for me to actually give them any more attention.

"When I heard that someone had begun casting Explosion magic, well...there's only a few handful of individuals who have the ability to do that." My staff thumped against the floor, a bubble of [Silence] encompassing me and the King.

I frowned for the first time in a while.

"So, are you here to accuse me of treason?"

The King laughed.

"Ah, that's the Artificer that I always knew. You looked like you've never aged a day ever since I went on the throne. Sadly, as much as I wanted to accuse you for such a thing, we both know that this is not your method at work. Your methods are more of a...knife, rather than a hammer."

"So, you want me as a hunting dog."

"You keep on underestimating me, Artificer. Even I learn from my mistakes. You already know who is responsible."

I shrug. It wasn't really a big secret to keep. Plus, the King's still underestimating me, so it's still fine.

"So I do. I can't just waltz in an encampment and eliminate them in an instant now, can I?"

"You are stalling for time. We both know you have the necessary skills for such an assassination."

"I have classes in Thief, not Assassin. Use your head, old man."

"Thief skills still work unhindered with magic does it not? Your excuses are getting thinner by the moment, Guildmaster. At this rate, I can already expect your head on a guillotine."

"Fine, so I eliminate your little problem for you. Who's to say that another wouldn't replace them?"

"Then strike at the heart. Make sure that _no __one _can ever have the potential to wield such spells against this Kingdom."

I lightly tap my staff once again, the sound being absorbed through the carpet.

"Even that Crimson Demon?"

A pause, before the King's eyes flickered with fire.

"Even the Crimson Demon. Do what you have to do in order to prevent such things from falling into the hands of the enemy. Unlike the Demon King, we cannot keep up a barrier at all times. Do you understand, Artificer?"

"Crystal clear, your Majesty." I replied, sheathing back my staff in one smooth move as I walked back out of the chamber. My eyes slid over to the side, finding the King's yes-men staring at the conversation with confusion, all except for one person.

As much as I didn't want to do this, I had to, kid. Hope you make the right choice.

[Demon King's Castle – Elyria]

I skipped towards the conference table, waving towards the golems who opened the door for me.

With a groan and a creak of the heavy doors, I entered the conference chamber, outfitted with dark red banners hanging from the ceiling and emblazoned in the emblem of the Demon King.

_My _emblem.

"Who are you?"

In front of me is one of the many different problems that plagued the current state of Elyria, the fallen goddess of destruction – Wolfbach. The main reason that she was even here in the table is because she was one of Elyria's main problems.

Keep your allies close, and enemies closer. An adage in my world that Bree uses well.

"I'm the Demon King." I airily reply, smiling as I watched the fallen goddess frown.

"Are you joking? You know I can kill you where you stand."

"Hoho, sadly moi contract permits moi to stop you if it were to be the case."

As expected, Vanir dropped down and landed in the middle of the table, his mask floating for a few seconds before he gathered up his magical energy to form an actual body to interact with.

"Fallen Goddess, still your tongue lest I be forced to attack you."

Wolfbach clicked her tongue as I seated myself on the only uncomfortable chair, a straight-backed piece of ebony wood inlaid with gold. The bottom felt stiff, but it was a reminder to make sure that I'm always focused during these meetings.

"...When did that backstabbing god give his position? To a summoned outsider, no less?"

Ah, it would seem like Wolfbach didn't like me that much. Well, not that I particularly cared...

"It was a private meeting around a few years ago. Moi friend and mentor who is already tired of country management wanted to hand off his country to a person that knows his vision. Since his ideal form of governance has been close to that of the other world, then it stands to reason that a summoned person from that other world is ideal, no?"

"Then how come I haven't heard about this?"

"Do you have stone for ears, fallen goddess? Moi self said that this was a private ceremony. Moi glorious self was only present there due to being the former Demon King's most trusted aide and confidant."

Wolfbach's eyes turned towards me. "And what do you have to say about this?"

"I have work experience in filing paperwork. Plus, Vanir basically runs the entire country by myself, and Bree stops by from time to time to help me out."

"A puppet King in all but name, I see." Wolfbach scoffed, crossing her arms under her chest. "...So? Why am I here in the first place?"

"Bree told me that you were at the frontlines."

"Oh, it's about that?" The fallen goddess waved a hand. "It was just my duty as a Demon King Army General to lead the Demon King's forces at the front. It couldn't be more simple than that."

"Even though my predecessor ordered you to search for your other half first?"

Silence went through the air of the chamber as I leaned back into my seat, the armor that I wore clinking with each movement. Just in case, my hand slipped over to my partner's handle.

_"Ready when you are, Master."_

_"Thanks, Ingvild."_

"It has recently come to my attention that Elyria's regime had recently changed, however."

"Which is why this is your first and final warning." I replied, smiling at the fallen goddess as I stood up and flicked my wrist.

In response to my command, golems smoothly emerged from the walls, their crystalline skin breaking away to reveal menacing amethyst orbs trained on Wolfbach. I can hear her breath still.

Bree-built, and easily capable of killing even the most powerful avatar that the gods could send. I'm sure they'd work nicely on this fallen goddess as well.

"Are we clear, Wolfbach?"

My smile was punctuated with the fallen goddess' scowl, even as she slowly stood up and met my gaze with her own. She nodded, and slowly walked back towards the door, stopping just before she went through.

"You're less of a Demon King than the last one."

Her sentence was cut as a blast of amethyst light carved a thin line of blood from her cheek, and her gaze turned venomous as she stared at me with a glower.

A few moments later, she closed the door and left, but I can still see the hole torn in the doorframe.

When Vanir told me that she was finally gone, I couldn't help but bark out a peal of laughter.

"I don't get it if that's supposed to be an insult. I'm rather flattered by that."


	15. On the Artificer's Mistake

[?]

Ethereal music filtered through the air, the hymns of a thousand individuals becoming a hum that went through the place that I'm currently in.

"You have died once again, Kazuma-san."

I can't help but cover my eyes with an arm. I'm ready to cry, damn it, but not in front of Eris-sama!

"Although, I'll let this resurrection pass. My dad still needs you, after all."

"Huh?"

I stopped and looked at Eris-sama, who was frowning at me like I did something idiotic. Which I did, but it seems like she's angry at someone else.

"You should be lucky that you have all these gods and goddesses in your payroll, you know? My dad needed to pick up your pieces together before he can use [Resurrection] on you."

"Wait, he can do that?"

"Of course!" Eris-sama said, rising up from her seat and placing her hands on her waist. Textbook maneuver, Eris-sama. "Even if he fell from Heaven, he's still a powerful god, you know? He's the one that created most of the relics, after all."

"Eh!?"

"Why is that so hard to believe? My dad's the god of imagination, creativity, and freedom. Who else do you think is perfect for the job?"

...Now that you think about it... "Huh, that actually makes sense if it's true."

"It's most definitely true." Eris-sama replied, settling back into her seat as she smiled. "Well, considering that it would take some time for my dad to piece you back together, how shall we spend the time?"

I perk up. Alone time with Eris-sama? Sign me up, please!

"How about video games?"

Eris-sama blinked, before she smiled and made a game console appear out of thin air.

...I want that power.

"Aqua-senpai told me that you were good at games, and so I was hoping that you could help me with this..."

Said help turned out to be a game from one of those developers, which was a game that was infamous for its difficulty. Although, my enthusiasm was dulled when I saw Eris-sama play as a mage-like character.

...That was not how you play this kind of game, but alright.

"See? I just can't seem to get that out of this boss's patterns."

Ah, I know where she's getting at. I had some problems on that boss as well, considering that the damn thing had an ability to stall the fight by regaining their health...

...Wait. "Eris-sama, how _did _you get games to play here?"

"Ah." Eris-sama flushed, and I struggled to let out a whine as she glanced towards the side.

She's so cute, damn it! But I met her mother already, so I'm too scared to do anything else, damn it!

"My dad bought me these when was still in Heaven. I can remember both my dad and mother arguing about it while I was already playing, but somehow he convinced my mother to let me keep it. It involved a lot of screaming, but now I look at it and remember...well, remember just how much my dad loves me."

I went silent, and I glanced back towards the game, looking at the game over screen while the boss roared its victory.

"...Sorry to bother you with this, Kazuma. I'll just have to keep on getting better–"

"No, it's fine. I'll help you." I grabbed Eris-sama's hand to keep her from disposing of the game console, and I sent her a smile. "I think I don't know what to do if I just sat here doing nothing."

"You'd probably die from stress."

"Oi!"

That hits too close to home, Eris-sama! That's the way I died, you know!?

"...Also, can you let go of my hand? My mother is quite conservative..."

"Roger! H-How about I show you how to b-beat the boss first, yeah?"

Guildmaster-san, please help me! I don't know if I'll survive meeting your wife again, at this rate!

[?]

"AAAAARGH!"

Eris-sama throws down the controller for the hundredth time in the row.

"Stupid hitboxes! That spear was a few meters away and I _still _died! That's it! Kazuma, you try!"

...Was it weird that I see Eris-sama as nothing more than a friend now? I mean, who knew she loved games as much as I do?

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. We still have a few more hours to kill anyway, so we might as well spend it on something productive."

A few hours...just how badly was I splattered by Megumin's [Explosion] that I needed a day to get my body to recover?

"...It's done."

"Come on, I know you're lying! There's no possible way that you can just...finish up the boss..."

Eris-sama seems particularly impressed by my level of skill. Of course, I hated this boss with all of my heart, so I made sure that I wouldn't forget the way I killed it. Which means that facing that boss again was a piece of cake, and somehow cathartic as well.

"Kazuma."

"Ye– Eek!"

Too close, too close, too close! Eris-sama, just what are you doing!? I'll die if you do this! Your father would skin me alive! Your mother would keep me in Heaven just so she could torture me to her heart's content! For my sake, please have some self-awareness!

"Y-Yes?"

No, she's too close. Not that I particularly wanted her to _do _that or anything, but I guess that it wouldn't help if I just...

"Teach me your ways."

...Huh?

"What?"

"Teach me!" She screamed, and I screamed as well when she grabbed my shoulders and all but draped her face on mine. "Teach me how to be a godly gamer like you!"

"W-Why though...?"

"You know how my dad is, right?"

Overbearing, manipulative, seedy-looking, and overwhelmingly a daughter-con?

"Yeah..."

"He bought me this game a long time ago, and he always asks for my progress whenever we meet up! I've been telling him that I got stuck in this boss fight for months, but...but..."

Damn it! Why did she have to cry!?

"He looks at me like I'm a kid!"

...In all fairness, Eris-sama, you're acting like one.

"Not only that, but when I told him how I played, he just gave me a look of...a look of pity!"

Well, you're obviously not supposed to play like that but whatever...

"A-And, he even said that Aqua-senpai was better than me at this game!"

...Guildmaster, you just made it personal.

"Don't worry, Eris-sama. I'll teach you. At the very least, it's my responsibility to make sure that you are better than Aqua at this game."

"Kazuma-san...!"

Eris-sama threw herself forward, her arms outstretched as they hugged me–

_"Brat. Keep on dallying any longer and I'm going to drop the [Resurrection]."_

"..."

"..."

That bastard just _had _to have the worst timing.


	16. On the Artificer's Motivations

[Royal Palace – Belzerg's Capital]

The moment I entered the room, every single noble inside the hall went silent.

Most of them looked at me with a hint of fear, which was thoroughly justified. I was pissed, and my temper would only rise even further if they didn't react.

"What brings you here, Artificer?" The King asks, and I toss a medallion on the floor in front of me in response. Faces paled even further, recognizing the gold and the embedded amethyst, even as I hold my staff at the ready just in case.

"You're commissioning assassins. To eliminate that damn Crimson Demon girl." I all but stated instead of asked, my gaze narrowing at the King who had an expression carved out of stone.

"Do you want to betray your only defense against the full might of the Demon King's Army, you damn idiots?" I snarled, with motes of blue light rising up from the ground beside me. "They're the main individuals responsible for harrassing the Demon King's forces and preventing them to mount a coordinated attack, and you want to eliminate them?"

"That Crimson Demon was the one casting [Explosion] on our forces on the frontlines! They've all but taken the side of the Demon King!"

"Ho? Then where's your proof?" I asked with eyes zeroed on one of the nobles, a gaudy-looking man with robes that hid skin and bones. "Did you track the magical signature? There's a lot of experienced and retired adventurers that can cast [Explosion] without much effort. Did you cross-check the database in the list of [Explosion] practitioners in order to see if they have an alibi?"

"T-That's..."

"You're a fool, and an idiot. If it weren't for the status of your parents, then I would've already put you in your place." One of the motes of light around me shifted, and I immediately slammed my staff in that direction, causing a shriek to fill the air as a woman appeared out of thin air and slammed into the ground. I pinned her down with the end of my staff without much effort, and I turned back towards the nobles with a smile on my face.

If I was pissed before, then now I was downright murderous.

"...Now this is a new low, even for the lot of you. Sending an assassin after a renowned Adventurer and Guildmaster while in the middle of a meeting? I thought you lot were much more subtle than this. Where did your intelligence go? Did it fly away the moment you lot finished planning for the murder of that Crimson Demon?"

A smirk formed on my face. "Although, for a bunch of people that seemed to frame me for the Crimson Demon's murder, you seem to have never taken account the chance that your target might have switched rooms with someone else."

"Treason!" One of them yelled, pointing a gnarly finger at me that I didn't want to know where it came from. "You're accussing us of trying to murder a renowned adventurer!? Treason, I say!"

"Oh, treason is it?" I asked with a raised brow, silencing the pathetic attempt to browbeat me until submission with a simple glare. Pathetic, the lot of them. "What do you think, o King?"

That statement shut everyone up. With trembling gazes the nobles turned towards the King, still on his throne and watching the proceedings with a half-lidded gaze.

"Just this once."

A sigh escaped my lips, containing both relief and exasperation in the same measure, all the while the nobles slowly began panicking for their lives. "Just this once, I'll let this slide. I have no doubt that you will be able to accomplish the task that I had set out for you, so I will refrain from foolishly punishing you for your misplaced declaration of treason. However, I would like to know your true thoughts about this matter. I've given you enough time as it is, Artificer."

"Now that, I can rally behind." I said with a grin, leaning on my staff once again as I met the stares of everyone in the area.

"Quite simple, really. Her name is Wolfbach, Demon King Army General."

[Royal Palace – Belzerg's Capital]

I'm a bad person. I really am. Didn't take too much thinking, considering that I was the Demon King, and all that. Alright, so maybe I'll spin the bad press around, say that I'm just ruthless in a pragmatic manner that everyone could understand. But this? This I'm not too sure about.

"I'm using [Steal] the next time you cast [Explosion] without my permission, yeah? Let's see how you do without that staff of yours for a full week..."

"Yeah..."

Kazuma blinked. "Megumin? What's wrong? Usually you'd be all over me while shouting about how I desecrated your pathetic [Explosion] or something like that–"

"Pathetic, you say!? Let's just see who's going to be pathetic when I blast you into pieces once again!"

"Oi!"

I sighed, disabling my [Remote Eye] and glancing towards the other member of Kazuma's current party who was currently making their way over towards me.

"Yo."

"What are you doing here?"

"Resting while making sure that your party leader's fine. Using [Resurrection] takes a lot out of you, I'm afraid."

"Did you tell him of his cause of death?"

"Of course." I said, crossing my arms at her. "I told him that he was blown to bits when your other party member casted her spell a little bit closer to him than recommended."

As expected, a sword gouged onto the carpeted floor, and I couldn't help but snort as the crusader in front of me started to flush in embarrassment. "S-Stop laughing, you! This is a serious matter!"

"I'm not though."

"Y-You are!"

"I'm really not..."

A bit of time passed as the crusader composed herself, before she let out a determined breath and stared directly at me. "Well then, I assume that you can tell me the reason to why you would lie to him about this?"

I smile as I turn towards her. "Say you want someone to not make the same decisions you made. What would you do to keep up the facade?"

"Kazuma–"

"Is merely a boy who doesn't know the true meaning of life here. His home...is far enough from here that they haven't even heard of the conflict with the Demon King." The crusader opened her mouth to speak, but I silenced her with a glare. "Say what you want about your depraved fantasies, but that's the case more often than not, isn't it?"

Silence. Then, "Did you visit his birthplace?"

"I did." I replied with a nod of my head. "A country at peace, garnering vast amounts of land, people, and strength to even make the worst of what the Demon King has to offer look like children. They have the curse of never knowing the bounties of magic, forced to accept it as fact from a young age, yet still their country flourished. Yet I know the question on your lips."

I pause, glancing towards the crusader's open mouth.

"Why did I return here? To a land of strife and endless death, perpetuated by the defamation of all sides until there is nothing left but ashes?"

I chuckled at her confused expression, even as I stare past her and out into the blue skies above the capital. The call to adventure beckoned, just as it once did in the past, but they were memories of an individual who hadn't experienced the same memories as I have. Instead, they were stuck reliving the past, seated at the ends of the world with too much tasks to even bother doing anything else.

The Administrator and I are different people. We might share the same face and I might be a clone of them, but we both knew and accepted that we would be forever different at our core.

"Quite simple, young lady. My family's still here."

Yet I can't help but feel disgusted even as I speak.


	17. On the Artificer's Counterattack

[Outskirts of Belzerg]

"Are we doing this?"

"Yes we are." I ignored the cry of approval that came from the Crimson Demon's lips, and quickly turned towards Kazuma and the rest of his party. "So, are you lot ready for this?"

"We're not..."

"I'm ready."

"Darkness..."

With a sigh, I ignored their squabbling as we continued on trekking through the woods, any stray branches along our path being cut by blades of wind. A wasteful use of mana I know, but when you're an avatar of a fallen god, then there's no real reason to conserve mana. Our ilk could cast [Explosion] without pause if given enough energy.

Anyways, it wasn't a bad plan. Kazuma's, that is. I had the feeling that he might be taking it from his video games, but I suppose it would count as sufficient proof that one can learn something from them. After all, his plan had the double whammy of crippling the enemy's forces and their supply lines, along with demoralizing the lot of them so that they would simply run back to their country's waiting arms.

I sure hope that they would. It sucks to even think that they would be killed as mere pawns on a chessboard. However, Wolfbach needs to be neutered, which meant killing off her essence so that she couldn't recover her consciousness in a long amount of time. And for that, we need bait.

The damnable cat-like thing in the Crimson Demon's arms was the perfect one. "Chomusuke, what's wrong?"

I grinned at the beast. It shivered, yelped, and tried to pry its way out of it's supposed owner's arms, to no effort. Good to see that my reputation still holds up, even after a few centuries.

"Well, we're here", I said, sweeping my staff at the back of the encampment as if I were presenting a particularly interesting specimen. Look at the Demon King Army, the supposed finest individuals of my country, all recruited and vetted outside Elyria's official borders. In short, they were fakes. An army full of pawns, but at least they knew to leave the _actual _one in peace. They'd get demolished instantly. "Uh...Crimson Demon girl, do your thing-"

"[EXPLOSION]!"

Eh. I supposed that asking her to be patient would be too much. I formed a [Barrier] around us, an amethyst wall shielding us from the rubble, and Kazuma could only watch with a gaping mouth as a mushroom cloud slowly rose up to the sky. Now that I think about it, maybe giving mortals this kind of magic is a bit too overkill...more like a nuke, by this point.

"[Teleport]."

And just like that, we were back at the castle, the rest of Kazuma's party collapsing onto the brick and mortar as if they had ran the entire distance. Pretty stupid, I suppose, but I'm willing to milk this situation for what it's worth. "That wasn't a far enough distance. It looks like I'm going to have to put you three in endurance training."

"No way..."

"Kazuma, Kazuma-"

"Yes, it's Kazuma."

"Why is Darkness drooling?"

"It's because she's nothing more than an animal in heat under the skin, Megumin."

"Oi!"

I sigh. Really, this is just too sad. They're Axel's crack squad, and they act like _they're _the ones on crack. Was it too much to ask to get some decent adventurers for once?

...Oh who am I kidding.

[Elyria]

"Vanir."

"Hm?"

"You ever stop and think that Bree surrounded with idiotic Generals?" I asked with a raised brow, only for the Archdemon to stop in his tracks and stare at me with a glowing eye. Uh-oh.

"Not you of course - you're his confidant", I quickly assured the Archdemon, and the red glow immediately died down as he preened. How the hell does he do that? "But I'm talking about the others. You know, Wiz, Hans, Wolfbach, Verdia, Sylvia...the others."

"Ah, that's quite simple." Vanir nodded in response to my question, even patting me on the head for it. Just why am I still short, exactly? I'm already in my 20s, damn it! "You see, while the former Demon King could plan and strategize on his own, he requires a little more help on...other matters."

"Like what?"

"Common sense, for example."

Oh. That made a lot of sense. But wait - "Then why choose them? Isn't that kind of stupid?"

"My guess that it was one of the reasons as to why he appointed you as his successor instead." Vanir shrugged as he casually pushed open a three-ton marble gate, leading towards the main teleportation hub of Elyria itself. Various magical formulae spun through the air, whizzing to and fro from color-coded portals, and even then I could still see some elevators and escalators around. "Hm, judging by your reaction, it means that you haven't been here yet."

"No, I have. Bree gave me the tour, but I wasn't really paying attention to him a while back." I hummed, crossing my arms behind my head as I glanced around the frankly ridiculous levels of engineering required to make this place happen. "It's like a utopia for the rest of us, you know? Science and magic coexisting at the same time."

"Ah, I can understand." Vanir nodded, "I came here in the first place to seek knowledge on how the former Demon King had managed to meld the two of them together. Now, I can understand most of the basic contraptions that are being produced in this country."

"'Most'?"

"You fail to understand dear, that most immortal beings change over a long period of time. They cling to their established knowledge and slowly expound upon it with great paranoia." Vanir motioned to the various portals, along with the elevator that we're currently standing on. "This, is a relatively new system, seemingly made by someone who does not conform with traditional teachings. While Bree may be a god of imagination and creativity, he is still a god - he is supposed to remain unchanging. But-"

"-He seems human", I finished with a nod. "So...apotheosis?"

"No. He is something _else_." For the first time since I met him, Vanir's lips scowled in confusion. An Archdemon of Hell, a being who had lived for _millenia, _confused. It was frankly quite disturbing. "...Say, he told me that you might know the importance of his basic explanation for his existence. Do you?"

"I don't know. You haven't asked me yet."

We stopped upon the portal leading to Belzerg's capital, Vanir's expression falling as he turned around to face me. I can tell that the Archdemon was perfectly serious at this very moment. "Very well. How much do you know about these so-called 'Outer Gods'?"

...Oh. _Oh_. That's...wow. That explained...a lot, really. It explained _too much _to be even considered as a joke.

Still, I couldn't help but shiver even as we went through the portal and appeared directly inside Bree's quarters, my gaze meeting the former Demon King of this world. While I have no idea as to why someone like _Bree _of all people would simply resign himself to a world like this, I shouldn't question it.

At the very least, he's striving to make a good ending.


	18. On the Artificer's Hidden Plans

[Belzerg's Capital - Royal Castle]

I watched with hands in my pockets as I watched Matsuri play along with her armored griffin. It glanced towards me first, and I raised a brow at it, making it jump up at the sight of fish on its master's hand. Really, it had been quite a while before I could train the griffin in basic manners, but it was worth it. The damn bird-mutt-cat thing didn't try to bite off my hand anymore when I tried to feed it. Of course, it still did the same for everyone else.

"Who's a good boy?" The griffin snorted, causing Matsuri to blink before her eyes widened in realization. "Oooh, you're actually a girl? Sorry then. Just sit still and let me prune your feathers. I might know a thing or two about scratching itches that you can't reach."

Well, it would seem like my backup would be doing fine. As for plan A however... "It isn't even ten minutes yet. How are the lot of you tired already?"

Kazuma all but looked like a limp corpse as he tried to punch me, only for his arm to fall flat as his entire body seemed to twitch. His party members, suffered the same fate as well, the Crusader all but trying for a spot at the vacuum auditions by the way that she wheezed.

"More... More..."

"Lady Lalatina–"

"Don't call me that!"

"–You can't move. Your muscles are jelly. Even your tongue is sticking out. Are you sure that you want to continue?"

"Yes! Gladly!"

"I'm so sorry about my party member... really..." Somehow, Kazuma managed to react to whatever his party member said without even snapping back into consciousness. Was the reply that ingrained into his subconscious? That's weird.

"Just rest for the moment. We're still raiding the encampment later", I replied with a wave of my arm, grinning at their despondent faces as I snickered and hopped over to Matsuri, who had just finished grooming the griffin.

"Already have a name for her yet?" I grinned as Matsuri jumped in place, quickly swinging her blade at me as I stepped back and let the gleaming edge miss by a hair.

"Bree! Don't just scare me like that." She let out a sigh of relief, though I can still see a little tension in her shoulders. I hummed, waving my hand in front of the griffin to get its attention, lowering its head for me to pet it.

"I take it your meeting with Wolfbach didn't go particularly well?" I asked, watching as the griffin purred in my grip. It was honestly disturbing, seeing such a beast reduced to this after my little stint with it. I kind of already miss the part when it- oh, there it is. "Damn griffin", I frowned at the glare that it shot me, ruffling its feathers as I sighed and put its helmet on.

"She didn't take the threat well, if you know what I mean." I sighed, closing my eyes as I massaged the bridge of my nose. Goddamn it. All I wanted is to stay her hand for now, but she couldn't even wait for just a little while. "...You're planning on doing something stupid again, aren't you?"

"Does it look like it?"

"Yes."

I frowned, turning back towards the castle as I spotted a cloaked figure currently moving through the shadows, aiming straight towards the beast by Kazuma's party. My staff immediately materialized in a waiting hand, its end glowing with power as I aimed it directly at where the figure was going towards. "[NIflheim]."

And the entire castle rose up in alarm.

[Belzerg's Capital - The Royal Palace]

Gods never knew the meaning of patience. Sure, they know of the concept, and they try to spread the word amongst their followers, but they themselves are as patient as a child when they are told to do the same. Hypocrites at heart, the lot of us.

Which is why I found myself being held in place by illusory chains, even as my bane whistled with his hands inside his pockets and waited for his backup to arrive. "So", he began, his voice already irritating me with just a single syllable, "While I urged you to cause some discord, this _wasn't _what I was looking for. Were you even following your orders in the first place?"

I glared at Bree, sparing a glace at the child of a successor that he brought with him, and I spit in his face the moment he lowered himself down to meet me.

I could admit to being petty, for once in a while. "I have no intention of following orders that come from a child."

"Sadly, said child could easily kill you where you stand." He grinned, and the child that he named his successor gave him a cautious glance. It was the most telling attribute as to why I considered her as one. "... Of course, if she actually bothered doing any work."

"I'm trying to redecorate my room though..."

"Mind leaving us alone then?" Bree asked with a raised brow, meeting gazes with the child for a few seconds before she huffed and made her way towards the griffin. With a single maneuver, she jumped onto the saddle and spurred the beast, getting off the courtyard with a screech and flying off towards the distance.

"Now, let's talk about you."

Bree's voice had turned cold, purple eyes staring into me with an expression made of stone. "You're backing out of the deal."

"Do you seriously expect me to wait for my other half to come to me?"

"No, I was expecting you to act with a little more intelligence and some beast in heat."

I snarled, breaking through my binds in an instant as I tried to claw his face out. Instead, a crystalline material shifted to protect him, before quickly spreading across my entire body and leaving me immobilized once more. "Do you have _any _idea as to what it feels to yearn for your other half? That you grow so desperate to have it back, to be consumed by that sole goal, until you lose all reason?"

Bree nods. He thinks he can sympathise with my struggles. How funny. "Yeah I do. Until I met Esta, I always went on a few... binges to this world. All in avatars of course, but I'm sure you can see my handiwork." He shook his head in disgust, as if wanting to keep that memory away from him. What a fool. "Didn't like it when I came to. Always. But we can't exactly change the way we act. Our followers dictate our life, along with our innate nature. I manage it a little better, but what about you?"

"You're expecting me to be like that Crimson Demon with a screw loose in her head?"

"As far as I can see, she's already a pseudo-follower of yours." Bree replied and shrugged, "I don't really care if you mess up the landscape a bit, as long as you don't hit anything containing innocents. Trust me, I'll know."

... It was best not to snap back at that gaze now. "Well, glad that we can have this talk. I promise that I'll be delivering your other half to you soon enough, as long as you do your part."

"Ho? And that is?"

"Stop right there!" Voices come from within the castle as a door slams open, and guards swarm into the space that we were in, spears pointed and a few adventurers at the ready. "Hands up and don't move a single inch."

_'Moment of truth, Wolfbach. Are you with me or not?' _Bree's voice resounds in my ear as I see him raise his arms with a lackadaisical smile on his face. The binds that he put on me were all but gone, and it was so easy to run through his defenceless back... But what if that was what he wanted to do? To attack him and establish myself as a Demon King Army General? But if I did nothing... It would result in both of us being captured and executed.

There was no other way to get out of this situation. Judging from Bree's twinkling eyes, he knew that too. One day...

"Stop, or he dies!" I scream, my hand latching onto his nape with a freezing grip. To sell the image even further, I made sure to summon up a few ice crystals in order to match with the Niflheim that Bree had casted earlier.

One day. One day I'll get out of this, but until then...

I'll play along for now.


End file.
